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Topic: Scared, help.

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. 2quik
    2quik avatar
    88 posts
    3 December 2019
    I'm slipping into a deep depression. I can feel it starting. I'm having suicidal thoughts with no intent or plan. Last time I rang beyond blue to talk I spoke to a person who wasn't very nice and shoved me into a program I couldn't go through with. It has put me off calling to talk again. That's why I just stick to the forums.

    I am on medication and I take it. I'm waiting to see my new doctor. I cannot get in any earlier.
    I'm tired and have nothing left anymore. I'm dealing with childhood abuse by two parents. Cutting contact with my mother and can't even touch the domestic violence I left this June. I'm out of strength and I really am not coping.

    I don't know what to do and I am feeling very panicked and scared.
  2. 2quik
    2quik avatar
    88 posts
    3 December 2019 in reply to 2quik
    Whoever is interested I rang my doctor and have an appt in the morning.

    I also rang 1800 respect and talked. Best I can do. I don't have all the answers
  3. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    1417 posts
    3 December 2019 in reply to 2quik
    Hi 2quik,

    We are sorry to hear that your experience with our Support Service was not helpful. Please know that our community is here to work through this difficult time with you. We recognise how overwhelmed you must be feeling at the moment and understand that writing here can be a helpful space to work through all your thoughts and feelings. We look forward to hearing how your appointment goes in the morning. Feel free to keep checking back here in the meantime. 
     
    If you’re feeling up to it, you may be interested in visiting the following thread to hear about how other’s have coped through difficult times: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/suicidal-thoughts-and-self-harm/tell-us-your-thoughts---what-39-s-kept-or-keeping-you-here-
     
  4. 2quik
    2quik avatar
    88 posts
    3 December 2019 in reply to Sophie_M
    Hi Sophie,

    Thanks. I can't read a lot at the moment. I'm just too busy trying to figure out what has actually happened. I don't know maybe a nervous breakdown?

    I'll see the doctor tomorrow.
  5. Jen-
    Jen- avatar
    12 posts
    3 December 2019 in reply to 2quik

    Hi 2quik,

    I hope that one interaction with the phone call does not put you off for good. This site does have a good forum, and people seem very helpful, which I am very thankful for.

    Staying away from the source of your problems is good, and you should keep at it. If you are taking your meds and it doesn’t seem to work, you could ask your doctor for a different brand perhaps? I’ve tried a lot of them in the past before and have noticed that brand does matter (not how expensive, but the formulation I think).

    Anyway, I hope things are better now today for you.

  6. 2quik
    2quik avatar
    88 posts
    3 December 2019 in reply to Jen-
    Hi Jen,

    I'm not going to call. I'm too scared cause I'm too fragile at the moment. I'm using 1800 respect at the moment because I know what I'm going to get. Uncertainties are a huge trigger for me. I can't do it to myself.

    As for medication, I've done my best. I paid a psychiatrist this year about four months ago to do a medication review. He said that he was satisfied with my medication, he tweaked one thing a bit.

    Right now I'm just going to wait till the morning and see what the doctor has to say. He has my records now from my old doctor so I don't have to tell him the whole story. Just the recent trauma of taking in the severe childhood trauma. I have cut contact in Sunday with the remaining caregiver.

    There is no clear cut path from A to B to C and so on when it comes to this. You may be at C and go to A at the same time. It's far from easy. I just keep going to get support where I can and where it is safe for me.
  7. Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Katyonthehamsterwheel avatar
    140 posts
    3 December 2019 in reply to 2quik
    It is scary when it comes on hey. But well done for getting support and for posting back here. Sorry you're going through a hard time right now. I hope your dr appointment is helpful. It will be nice to have someone to talk to I'm sure. Best wishes, Katy
  8. 2quik
    2quik avatar
    88 posts
    3 December 2019 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Hi Katy,

    I was so frightened today. Thank you for saying well done. It's nice to be acknowledge for how hard I work everyday. I hope this new doctor is going to be ok. It will be nice to talk to someone. For now I scan everyone so to speak. It's a learnt thing to do. I don't like doing it. For once in my life I just want the go somewhere and be relaxed and not afraid.

    Best wishes to you Katy.

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