I spoke too soon, I had a call from our family services worker and she said she’d received risk assessment and she said it was bad and she’s very concerned for our safety so now I’m having panic attacks flat out again.
I think unfortunately, this is just going to be our life until we can begin to heal our deep deep wounds but I’m not sure how you’re actually supposed to do that when you have kids to care for 24/7. I always used to say to my psych I’ll do the work when my kids are old enough to look after themselves (my kids are extremely attached to me so she used to always respond with what? When they’re 16?) unless you have AMAZING support particularly with caring for your kids needs 24/7 I just don’t feel like we really get a chance to take care of ourselves, we’re so busy and distracted all the time and we have so much to do to keep everyone and everything going.
I am forever telling myself I want a break from therapy and that I just want to be back in my denial bubble, BUT unfortunately I think once you’ve let it out and become more aware it is super dipper hard to push it all back down.
I know when I lost my psych I was adamant I would never find or talk to someone else and that no one else was going to be able to help me but I’ve already learnt different therapists are trained in so many different and specific ways that every experience is different.
have you ever tried crisis counseling specifically for sexual assault? I was referred to a clinic who specialise in sexual assault and they do very specific and crisis counseling. After a few sessions they said they couldn’t work with me as I was being retraumatised in my relationship but I know people who have seen them and it really made that shift for them. I plan to connect with them again when the rest of my life settles down haha.
it’s so hard when the people you have to support you don’t understand mental health, my mum pretty much acts like mental health is just an excuse to not do things so I struggled so much to accept I needed help and that I wasn’t well and needed support, I still struggle now because I’ve grown up to believe you don’t ask for help and support you just push it down and move on with your life.
would he consider talking to someone to help support you? Our sexual assault clinic offers counseling, support and advice to families and loved ones of the victim.
hope you find something soon. X