I don't have anyone else to say this to. I am just so tired. Physically and mentally. Physically I want to sleep all the time, my iron levels are very low. Mentally I'm tired of being here. Tired of dealing with myself and everything else. I'm just not happy. I can't even remember when I was. Medications don't seem to help. It all feels like too much

Hey Miss C.

Thank you so much for your being so open and honest with your feelings here, as we know how difficult this can be to do when you're feeling so drained. We can hear how physically and emotionally tired you're feeling at the moment, and understand that this must be so difficult to cope with, especially when your current medications don't seem to be helping as much as you hoped. But please don't give up in finding the right support and treatment- many others reading will also relate to how difficult this journey can be in finding the support that works best for them. It sounds like things are feeling like too much to cope with right now, but please know that you do not have to do this alone. Our community understand, and are here to offer their kind support and advice to help you through this difficult time.

We think it's really strong of you and so important that you have been so proactive in recognising you need some help and seeking it. Do you think you'd feel comortable opening up to your GP about how you've been feeling and any concerns you might be having around your medications and iron levels? We recognise that this must be an overwhelming situation for you, and would also encourage you to reach out for some extra support through this. The friendly counsellors at our Beyond Blue Support Service are here for you anytime to talk these feelings through on 1300 22 4636, as well as our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14. Please do feel free to use these services to talk through what's on your mind whenever things are feeling like too much, as they are able to provide support and advice to you 24/7 during times like these.

We'd also encourage you to keep us updated here on your thread with what you are feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it - we hope that you find this to be a safe and non-judgemental space.
 

😔😔 I feel the same. I’m sorry you feel like that too. I know this is not helpful. But I thought I’d say hello and know you’re not alone 😔 ❤️, I’ve just been crying all day.

Hello to Miss C and MizM,

My dearest darlings - I know how you feel. Not long ago, I was in a very similar place. It's hard because you are sometimes juggling exhaustion and rest, with depression sleep/exhaustion - and it's sometimes hard to know which one it is. Please know that you are both not alone.

I know you may not want to, but calling the Beyond Blue line or Life Line is the first step you need to take. Taking the thoughts out of your head and speaking to someone who can provide you with ear and support you need is going to help take a load off your shoulders.

Do you have a regular GP or psychologist/psychiatrist you can contact? If so, please do. If not, there are many good resources to help you find a psychologist within your area.

I want to share part of my story with you, so you know that you can get through this. COVID hit really hard for me and I kept trying to push through the Melbourne lockdown. A family member then passed away overseas, and I spent another 6 months stuck in another country, but still maintaining my Australian working hours. I was sleeping 2-3 hours, hardly eating and was just pushing and pushing and pushing. I didn't listen when people told me that I needed rest or practice self-care or take time off... because I thought I "should" keep going. When I arrived home in Australia and got out of hotel quarantine, I found myself in the place that you describe. Mentally exhausted. Physically exhausted. Sleep felt like the answer. Not socialising felt like the answer. I withdrew from everybody and I didn't leave the house.... but the way I was thinking and feeling was not who I am. I woke up one day and I knew that if I didn't get help, I was going to go somewhere that I was scared to go.... and as hard as it was, going to both my GP and Psychologist and getting a referral to an inpatient facility was the best thing I ever did. Going into hospital and taking time off from work felt like my world was going to end - but it didn't. Quite the opposite - I immersed myself in focussing on getting better. Doing the psychological work, going on the appropriate medication, practicing self-care and finding balance. It is possible. Trust me.

I'm not saying you need to go into hospital - but I am telling you that asking for help is the bravest and most helpful thing you can do. Whether it is picking up the phone to BB or LL, or contacting your GP/psych - it will help. There are people in this world that love you. Please make the call.

G x

Hi Miss C

I feel for you so very much as you try to find the energy when it comes to feeling any connection to life. It's a truly horrible even torturous feeling (this lack) people don't fully understand unless they can relate.

If there's one thing I've discovered for myself over time it's...DON'T SETTLE. Don't settle for professionals who proclaim 'There are no obvious reasons for why you feel the way you do. Life's just like that sometimes'. Such people are so incredibly unhelpful, even depressing. Don't settle for people who aren't providing you with the sense of 'feeling raised'. To the other extreme, if you can sense people are actually bringing you down, you gotta question this. You may be sensing or feeling this for good reason. Trust your feelings.

Energy comes in many forms in my opinion, it just depends on how you look at it. Mental energy, physical or biological energy and natural energy are all so strongly tied in together.  I'd faced depression for a number of years in the earlier part of my life and couldn't quite work out why I was going back in. It wasn't until my B12 levels got so low to the point of debilitating that a GP picked it up. Bamm, up went my energy levels and off went all that horrible internal dialogue which can naturally bring us down: I'm so lazy, hopeless, unmotivated, useless etc. 

What our mental energy is invested in can sometimes determine the outcome of our chemistry. I don't believe enough attention is given to the power of imagination. Sounds a little silly but I'm wondering if you can relate: If all you're being led to imagine is hopelessness, no difference, a life time of depression ahead of you...this will impact how your brain behaves and your chemistry. How imagination impacts us is pretty amazing and sad at the same time. I feel if we're playing 'Follow the leader' with a lot of unhelpful doctors and so on, who lead us to hopelessness and a lack of answers, it becomes a cruel game.

Ask a quantum physicist or spiritualist and they'll agree we're energy, in some form. Without enough of the right kind of energy we become dysfunctional in a number of ways, mentally, physically and naturally. Your body may be seeking energy restoration or time out through sleep.

:)

I wish I could give you all a huge hug.

I know all too well that feeling that you're dealing with. It's overwhelming and distressing to say the least.