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Topic: strong urges

  1. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    276 posts
    30 April 2021 in reply to Tamrby

    That’s great to hear your are still passing despite not studying. From what I remember only grade 11 and twelve count towards your final result at the end of school: is this still the case?

    Yes procrastination is the worst. To be honest, I am one of them 😜 but as the years go on I am getting better at overcoming it. Part of academic success is dependent on the intelligence you were born with, but part of it is your work ethic. A good thing you can look at is how you study (the particular methods), but a big part is also just how often you manage to sit down and open your books/laptop etc. That hurdle is the part that actually causes the most anxiety (not sure if you experience this), and once you start to focus on the work and not on harshly judging yourself, it’s usually a lot easier on the mind- I have found anyway.

    any thoughts on all of that?

  2. Tamrby
    Tamrby avatar
    38 posts
    30 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    I think now its from year 10 as it starts on your ROSA (record of school acheivement) I have found that once I actually start the work I feel a bit better.

  3. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    276 posts
    30 April 2021 in reply to Tamrby
    I see. The fact that you’re still trying despite experiencing problems is something you should commend yourself for. It’s always easy to give up on trying. Do you have any idea if there’s anything you might want to do after school?
  4. Tamrby
    Tamrby avatar
    38 posts
    30 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    I want to do a theatre making degree and hoping to get early entry so I don't have to worry about ATAR. sorry my responses are shorter, I have been very stressed at school and have relapsed, im disappointed but not surprised and I don't even care anymore I realised the only reason I stayed clean was so I didn't have to hide it from my parents, My mind is all over the place atm, some moments I'm fine other moments I just don't want to
  5. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    276 posts
    30 April 2021 in reply to Tamrby
    I’m sorry to hear that Tamrby. Don’t feel pressured to respond quickly, or in detail. Has it been the school work that has had you stressed at school or other problems with students as well?
    1 person found this helpful
  6. Tamrby
    Tamrby avatar
    38 posts
    1 May 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    I think the school work had me already stressed, but lately some students have been getting to me and theres times where I really do not like my appearance, maybe that led to it? I'm not sure. It just seems like I can count the people who actually don't dislike me on my fingers
  7. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    276 posts
    1 May 2021 in reply to Tamrby

    Often it can be like the weight of each stress in our life compounds. I certainly feel like the amount of people I can truly count on in life can be counted on one hand. I wonder if that's kind of normal though. Social media is notorious for its representing "fake lives" - all these people filter only the best of their experiences and project this kind of false image of how their lives are online - this is part of what some researchers think has contributed to a rise in depression and self-harm, particularly in girls, and particularly since we were able to check social media all day long. When I was in school, you had to go home and log on to check on your social media. So that can definitely be destructive.

    The people who do dislike you, who do you think they are? Obviously the people who have been harassing you have a problem. But I'm thinking what about the others. Sometimes it's not that people dislike us, but - especially when teenagers - they have all kinds of school and social pressures going on themselves, and it's just difficult to navigate that - plus teenagers as a group in general have the reputation for not being friendly anyway :P

    What don't you like about your appearance my dear?

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Tamrby
    Tamrby avatar
    38 posts
    1 May 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    other than a few people out of my friend group I feel I am treated poorly by most in my year, because idk im not like them? I get its highschool but I have spoken to my sister (whos only a few years older) and everyone in her year got along. With my appearance its everything, my teeth, my jawline, my hair, my nose, my eyes, sometimes my body there are few times where I feel look good (and not by social media standards I know those arent realistic) but just by normal looking people standards, I like my eye colour it makes me unique but thats the only part i like
  9. Tamrby
    Tamrby avatar
    38 posts
    1 May 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    I'd happily look like anyone else in my school, although of course the people on social media are gorgeous i understand thats not realistic, I like my personality (mostly) but maybe if I looked better and was more athletic I wouldn't have to deal with so much crap at school
  10. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    276 posts
    1 May 2021 in reply to Tamrby
    We all have something beautiful to us Tamrby. When you say you’re not like them (presumably some kids at school) how do you mean? You have also mentioned fear of coming out to your mother for things she’s said and threatened, I’m sorry to hear that; is that something you’d like to talk about? No pressure.
  11. Tamrby
    Tamrby avatar
    38 posts
    1 May 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    I don't know I act different? Even with my friends I feel disconnected. It would be good to just rant about my mother, like how she made a comment along the lines (context: I mentioned my friend going out with the same gender) "there will be no gays in this house" and my dad often using homophobic slurs even though he knows i am gay.
  12. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    276 posts
    2 May 2021 in reply to Tamrby
    It is okay to be different, as long as you are being yourself - it can be a long road finding out exactly what that is... You can rant here about whatever you want, I’m here to listen to you :) That must be hurtful when you are gay to have your dad insult gay people, and to hear your Mum say that. You say that your Dad knows: do you think your Mum knows as well, or not - is your sexuality something that they both might discuss together? Let me know if this is causing too much distress for you.
  13. Tamrby
    Tamrby avatar
    38 posts
    22 June 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    hello, im really sorry for a very late response, theres alot going on. I'd like to think my dad hasnt said anything as i know my mother would be treating me different if she knew. Right now im not doing too badly, I have had a pretty crappy week and I have stopped going to the counsellor bc she almost messed up my school life, not to mention she broke privacy with me even though I wasn't in any danger, so theres that. Also lately I've been having more and more like? Dissociations? I don't know what you call them, I used to get them every now and again which is fine but now its like almost half the time im with anyone I just can't seem to stay in the conversation, It's not that I can't focus it's just like theres almost like a foggy window infront of me, It tends to happen mainly in big groups and loud functions, It's very odd because its not that im super anxious of anything (although im a worried person ahaha) It just happens. Yeah so with out unpacking my whole life thats whats been happening.
  14. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    276 posts
    24 June 2021 in reply to Tamrby

    Hi again Tamrby,

    Good to hear from you :)

    It seems like a bit has been happening in your life. Sorry to hear you had an incident with your counselor. It's a code in any kind of health or care or related profession that people report if they reasonably suspect somebody will harm themselves or others; it's fortunate that you weren't in danger, but I guess they didn't know. If you have the motivation to keep writing to me (and want to divulge), how did the counselor cause problems for you in your school life?

    The dissociations you speak of are weird, considering that you say you're not super anxious - acute anxiety could maybe make somebody have that kind of thing.. Keep an eye on it I guess, incase it's some kind of medical issue.

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