Dear Eight~
Nice choice of avatar, it helped me know where your at - I think you called it afab.
ATM things are not good, but to throw your own word back -because they are right and gentle " i think you should know that you’re allowed to take up space"
If school is going downhill right now it does not mean you are not a worthy person. you have values, it shows in your posts and your criticism of yourself, and you have a mind that sees (look at your comments on relationships) . People should not see school as a disappointment, they should simply have faith and patience in you.
With the way you observe the world and draw conclusions I'm sure you are going to find your niche.
You also do not have to know if you want a partner or what that will look like, give it time, you have not seen all the world.
My worry is that at the moment your unhappiness is coloring everything. You are NOT broken, you are developing.
I'm going to be conventional and suggest web-chatting the Kids Help Line
https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling
Not becuse they have all the answers, but are sensible and may be a stating point to make you more content. You may have to be patient with them.
I would realy like it if you came back and talked some more
Croix