It passes. Believe me. I can understand your being frightened of you kids, and of everything else. The future can seem an insurmountable mountain when you look at it right now.
First off, as I mentioned before (Yup, I'm a nag) competent trauma treatment is needed for you as it was for me, that plus support.
There I'm luckier than you in having family support, but I would think I'd have slowly improved wihtout it. I was scared of things, from the people that worked out my workers comp to the mailbox (go figure). and my medical team.
You are so much more than a check and a cleaner, in fact I think you are rather admirable. You have been though the most harrowing of times, yest went back to work. It is sad that later incident set things back. You have been dealing with a complex nightmare of legal procedures where all parties want to duck the issue and not see you as a deserving human being.
You deal with you epilepsy and lack of funds, with brutally selfish kids, plus nightmares, headaches and the type of feeling that can come from trauma.
Yet you are honest and still wish those kids well.
There are two ways to look at what as happened -as a set of unmitigated disasters -which they are, or as a set of constant victories done by you. I'm not saying you've won any court cases or magically transformed your kids, but each day you have plugged on , doing what is needed.That is a huge accomplishment, you are dealing with what life handed you, nobody can do more.
I'm sure you will continue to do so
I forgot anger, it is so easy to become more and more scared, and so hard not to. Anger helps, anger at your firm, the legal system, those that have injured you and those that mistreat you now - you don't deserve any of this.
One thing I found also helped was to reserve a while at the end of each day, use that time for you, doing something you used to enjoy, or can take you mind away from the now with all its problems. I use mainly books, and look forward though the day to reading a few more chapters.
What did you or do you like?
Maybe during that time you kids may interrupt, perhaps on purpose. It is you chance to make a small beginning by saying no, not now, and stick to it until your time had finished.
It will get better.
I was angry at my employer, and it helped, I was angry at those that made no effort to help, that too gave me a little strenght and more self regard.