My partner has adhd, undiagnosed and unmedicated until we can get in to see someone (state of the country right now, huge waitlist). This is a big part of his depression which is pretty severe. He also occasionally struggles with anxiety.
A few months ago he began using cannabis as a way to help him relax late at night, just in small amounts. Pretty quickly it became a coping method for all of the discomfort that comes along with his adhd and depression. Now he uses it every day, for most of the day. It costs hundreds and hundreds per month. He has tried to quit once before but didn't get past the first day. He's tried to quit again this week, on day 2 now and he's planning on getting more.
He initially wanted to quit because of the money, but also acknowledged that it made him feel anxious a lot of the time, and made his motivation issues a lot worse. But when he's sober, he says that those things are better than the feelings he lives with from adhd and depression. He said that he'll stop when he can get medication for his adhd, but until then he thinks this is the only way he can get relief.
Honestly, part of me thinks he might be right. When he's high, it's the most relaxed and present I've seen him in almost 3 years. I was actually relieved when he started using it for this reason, because he cannot relax or self-soothe. But I also know that he feels bad about using it because of the stigma, the money, and because he knows that it's not a coping method and he's become completely dependent on it.
Hopefully he'll receive diagnosis and medication for his adhd by January at the latest... Should I just let him deal with his issues how he chooses to in the meantime? I'm joined up with some codependency support groups, & some people there have said that it's not my place or my responsibility or in my power to tell him what to do. And honestly, he doesn't do anything I suggest anyway - the only time he ever makes changes is when he decides to. So... Should I just be here for him, support him when he inevitably tries to quit and relapses over the next few months, and wait to see what happens with his potential diagnosis?