I think my boyfriend might be depressed. I know he has been depressed in the past -but not since a couple of years before we met. He is in something of a rutt at the moment and I understand why he would be unhappy - but he no longer seems to have the motivation to change his circumstances. He is irritable and angry. When angry he says mean things and is violent. He never appologises or acknowledges any wrong doing.

It isnt always this way and I dont know how to reconcile the two versions of him - he has been my best friend.

Is he just a bad guy that I misjudged or could some of this be a result of his (possible) depression???

Hi Rosie*,

Welcome to blueVoices!! :)

How your boyfriend is treating you is unfair. Him being violent (hitting you!) and mean is not your job to bear, regardless of him being depressed or your boyfriend or not.

I suggest you sit him down and talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel - emphasise that you care for him and is upset about how he is treating you. Suggest that he should see a medical professional (GP, psychiatrist or counsellor). If he is sensitive about the topic, you can tell him that you want to go too.

If he doesn’t listen to you nor to someone that you both trust (e.g a mutual close friend), and continues being violent even though you have tried your best - I suggest you leave the relationship. It isn’t your fault that he is feeling that way and you don’t deserve to be hit.

I hope it works out for you! Keep us updated :)

Hello Rosie, and a warm welcome to you.

You are very considerate of you to understand how he feels but it's not good that he takes it out physically depressed or not.

I agree with Blueskye that he should book an appointment with his doctor as what he has been doing isn't fair on you.

Hope you can get back to us.

Geoff.