Hi there puppies
I'm not a carer of someone with mental health issues, but I have mental health conditions - bipolar ii/anxiety/depression. So I'm going to give you some feedback from my perspective and hope it helps.
When I'm in the throws of depression I often don't want to talk to anyone. I will ignore email, ignore texts, I'll even put my phone on silent in a drawer for days to avoid the communication. I don't answer the door if someone visits.
I've done for a whole week at a time. It's not that I am being mean, or that I hate people, it's just that I can't deal with people at that time. My head is consumed by my thoughts.
I find during these times if I do communicate with people it's often not pleasant. I will say offensive things, I'll be irritated and have a rant (I've even had a few rants here on the forum when depressed). Again it's not intentional, I'm just in a place of pain, and I'm letting that out.
It's really why I have now opted not to communicate much or at all until I get a better grip of it as I know ill upset people.
I'm not saying this is why he is or isn't behaving as he is, but I'm hoping it sheds some insight into why he may.
My actions or inactions do affect others. And my lack of communication worries some people. It took a while for me to acknowledge this. I once had a friend so worried that she was about to call the police to my home. I realised then how selfish I was been, even though I didn't mean it.
I ended up deciding that no matter how bad I was feeling, every 2-3 days I'd make an effort to send the people who cared for me a quick text just saying 'I'm ok I just need some space'. This gave them piece of mind and me the space I needed.
I also reassured those who cared that I was proactively dealing with my condition. That I was seeing doctors, on medications etc This again gave them piece of mind.
Distance really has no bearing on the things we can do to alleviate one's concerns. If I were you I'd have a chat with him that you understand his need for space but this is really worrying you & making you I'll & see if you can make an arrangement for communication similar as above.
People also say a lot of negative things when they are depressed. I've told my husband that he & the kids are better off without me & I want a divorce. I don't really. But when depressed I can't see anything good. It's why they say make no decisions when depressed!
I don't know if this helps. Take care x