Thank you so much for your response, it is incredibly helpful.
I have googled OCPD and this really does sound exactly like my husband. Thank you for suggesting this as I have never heard of this before, and I am not sure if my husband has either, as we always just refer to him having OCD.
Obviously I cannot diagnose it as OCPD but so much of this characterises his personality - constant creation of lists, rigid rules and stubbornness, difficulty in expressing feelings. This is especially difficult for us because I am the opposite - extremely emotive and love to talk things out. However, if I have done something to upset my husband then he will mention it but then sometimes cold shoulder me for a few hours. This is causing a lot of the tension because I just want to talk about things and get over it, whereas he can hold a grudge over, what appears to me, to be the smallest thing. I understand that for him it isn't a small thing, and I am trying very hard not to let it get to me, but I often feel as if I am walking on eggshells and don't know when something I have done 'wrong' is going to upset the apple cart.
And again, thank you for the advice on my 2 year old. I was doubting myself as figured that someone so young could not actually develop any sort of obsessive disorder, and little rituals are common in young toddlers anyway. However, she does the odd thing here and there. For example, one day we went out for a walk and got about as far as the neighbours house. She bent down to pick up some grass and then declared her hands too dirty, so literally ran back to our house and cried in front of the front door so that we could wash her hands. The bedtime routine has now also become a lengthy ritual, and she will only allow me to help with getting her ready for bed, anyone else upsets the routine too much.
I will certainly try to talk to my husband again about seeing his GP and getting further help. Before things got out of hand he was happy, bright and funny, and still is really, but I would love to see him back to being that person all the time. It is just difficult when we have a day filled with things going wrong, the obsessive behaviours definitely feel as though they have taken over our lives on these particular days.
Thank you, Geoff, it is good to know there are others out there who are going through the same thing and understand these conditions.