Hello Possum, and thank you for coming to us because at times it's so difficult to know what to do in a situation like this and it's good Tony and Guest_7403 have replied back to you.
So much has been said which I totally agree with, so I'll try not to repeat what's been said.
If your husband is suffering from any type of depression, it's virtually impossible to be able to reason with him, some people don't say anything, and what's said to them means nothing, as it's just blocked out and doesn't mean what you are saying, I only say this as that's what did happen with me, however, I'm not qualified to say, just know from experience.
At the moment you can't rationally discuss any topic with him, as all his thoughts are negative and doesn't want to communicate with you, that's why he remains in the bedroom and orders take away food, he wants not to be disturbed, which often happens when people are depressed.
Your attempt to try and talk to him is not achieving what you were hoping for and also creating problems for yourself, that's why it would be good if you could visit your doctor, because you need to remember this affects two people, not only one person.
You can't make him have any counselling unless he decides that he needs to and perhaps the suggestion of separating may be an alternative to consider and this doesn't mean that in times of desperation he won't contact you, because this can happen.