Hi everyone. I am looking for a face-to-face support group in Perth for partners of people who have depression and anxiety. I guess I am looking for a group that can offer some support, and advice and I just don't want to feel so alone in all of this anymore. I know that I cannot fix my partner, I have accepted this years ago, but I would like to help him as best as I can. I don't know if what I am doing is helping or hindering, as his depression very rarely improves much. I do not have friends or family to talk to about any of this, so I do feel isolated most of the time (it's like a secret that I cannot talk about to anyone and affects so many aspects of my life).

Does anyone know of any support groups for partners? Or where I can look?

Thank you

Hello,

Don't know of a support group in Perth but just letting you know I am currently going through the same thing as you are and it's making me so depress and lost.

My parter has just asked for time alone and I feel this is the worst as he normally would say a little hi or bye and check in with me and this is the first time where it is total silence and he has shown some contempt for me and for some reason, this silence is killing me as I really care for him ,and also I am so use to talking to him everyday , I feel a bit lost.

I also have noone to talk to as my friends has these unrealistic high standards of what makes a good partner. The last time we met , their drilling made me so frustrated I cried because it was so frustrating to answer their repeated questioning about our relationship when I was honest about his issues and had already answered it twice earlier that day. One friend even said I want to know your relationship but when I did in the past , he often gets distracted because talking about depression isn't something he wants to talk about, so why would I want to confide in topics I know he won't really want to talk about.

So I hope this give you some sort of support to know that you aren't alone with feeling like this. My emotions and mind has been so irrational I feel a little crazy myself. Trying to be patient and calm is so difficult that I have even logged out of social media so I don't find myself checking to see when he is ok again to talk.

I don't know how to sort this out or even advice you, but I guess just talking about it with people who really want to listen helps. I feel a bit better already just writing this to you, so feel free to write back and hope I can do the same for you . To be your eyes and ears. Perhaps that is a start.

Hello Flying Fish

Welcome and thankyou for being a part of the forum family too!

Unfortunately we cant recommend any support groups as the Beyond Blue forums are actually a support group that you are more than welcome to be a part of......The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post

Just some background for you.....I used to have had chronic anxiety for a while which has morphed into depression but am doing reasonably okay as I have a great GP that I see every month for a fine tune

If you need a face to face support group your local GP or council based mental health care worker will be able to point you in the right direction

There are many gentle people on the forums that are also carers for someone with a depressive disorder.

I really hope you can stick around the forums and be a part of what we are trying to achieve where reducing the stigma is concerned

Im Paul and its good to meet you Flying Fish

My kind thoughts

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I have just started my day with my emotions in check (sort of). If I type any more I am going to end up red faced and blurry eyed from all of the crying ... LOL. I think I will explain a little more in the safety of my study at home later today :)

Thank you for reaching out. It is good to know that there is a safe place to talk about all of this.

Hi Flying Fish

Thanks for sharing your feelings with us. I too am trying to support my wife, who had pre-natal and now post-natal depression. When I first heard of her depression I was somewhat relieved, as I assumed she would return to her previously happy, loving and outgoing self after having our second daughter. Unfortunately its been 2 years and I'm now trying to work out how to best support her, without drowning in unhappiness myself.

I feel totally isolated and have found that even my once safe sanctuary of work, is even starting to be effected.

As in your case I don't have any family/friends to talk to about the situation, as no one else knows what we're going through and my partner isn't keen on sharing this information. My post won't be of any help to you, but please know that reading your's gave me the courage to finally verbalise my feelings.

T

Unfortunately my partner will not get help of any kind (although he does take anti-anxiety meds). So I continue to try and care for and support him as best as I can, while carrying the burden of all of this. I am not adverse to getting help but because this is all a secret and something that has to stay hidden, I cannot speak to anyone about any of it :( I can't talk to him because it will just make him feel bad :( I think that it helps to talk about things.... but that is one thing I cannot do, so my mental health does not get the attention and help it needs. And as my partner's mood goes down and a little less down (there is no longer ups), so does my mood but I just have to keep on going. If he sees that I am not coping, it makes him feel guilty and then that pushes his mood even lower. I kind of feel like I am in a "no win" situation.....it's kind of like an emotional roller coster that has no end point.

One thing I do suggest is to keep an open line of communication. When your wife is having a bad day, ask her what she needs you to do. When she is having a slightly better day, give a gentle nudge to go somewhere and do something fun, in a place that doesn't have too many people or require much interaction with people and where, if needed, there is a quick and easy exit strategy. My partner often feels bad when I ask him to join me for a walk and he isn't in the mood....so I have to ask him to join me in a tone that conveys no pressure at all, just a friendly invitation. And if he gets home from work and crawls into bed straight away, I don't ask him. Basically, I try and make suggestions that carry a "no pressure" tag. If the moment is right, talk about how she is feeling, what she is having particular problems with and always make sure she knows that you are there to listen. And do just that...listen.

I am no expert, but I do know how to listen.

Hi guys,

I just started a forum called 'Online support group. Rural areas. Partners with depression'. Only just got posted, so may not appear on the forums for a bit. Feel free to post there if you need support. Think online forums are the best way to get support unless you are living in a major city. Made it a really easy topic heading for people to find too.

Thanks, Rose