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Forums / Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers) / New relationship and anxiety has taken over his life

Topic: New relationship and anxiety has taken over his life

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Mum of many
    Mum of many avatar
    1 posts
    21 December 2017

    Hi everyone

    this is my first time posting.

    im in a new relationship with a man I was with when we were teenagers. 25 yrs apart and we found each other again.

    everything was amazing for the first month then once he started having responsibilities it all changed.

    Hes had 4 jobs in 10 months and is now at a point where he can’t even function day to day.

    how do I cope, has anyone got any tips

    he doesn’t communicate with me so I get shitty and it’s just a vicious circle.

    i doesn’t know how to live with this so I need some tips

    do i just leave him to suffer alone

  2. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    10577 posts
    2 January 2018 in reply to Mum of many

    Dear Mum of many~

    25 years is a long time and people change and one of the changes is they can become mentally ill, maybe depression, maybe anxiety, maybe something else. Not being able to keep a job, failing under pressure, not communicating, all point in this direction.

    The very best thing you can do for both of you is encourage him to seek medical support. See his GP, set out all that is happening and how he feels. See what happens next. If he has an illness, which sounds very likely, then he will get treatment, maybe medications, perhaps therapy. Most such illnesses respond well and the person concerned very often leads a pretty normal life.

    One hassle right at the start is some do not accept they need help, then it can be difficult to persuade them to seek it out. You may be able to succeed here, or perhaps enlist the help of someone he will take notice of.

    Feeling he does not take notice and reacting with hurt and anger is natural, however normal judgment may not apply, if he is depressed he may not be capable of more. This is another reason why he needs diagnosis and medical support - so you know where you are.

    It is a very difficult time for you, uncertainty about the relationship and the future, uncertainty as to what to do. Do you have anyone there for you -a parent or family member or friend? Being able to talk frankly how you feel, get ideas and support all make a pretty big difference. You are under a big load.

    You can talk here

    Croix

  3. Jessicatherese94
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Jessicatherese94 avatar
    197 posts
    3 January 2018 in reply to Mum of many
    Hi, you could try something like couples counselling to see how things could improve? Can you sit down and let him know how you're feeling, that you're worried because he doesn't communicate with you and feel like you're suffering. It sounds like a very stressful time for both of you and I agree with Croix about seeking help and having a close friend/family to talk to during this time.

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