Wellcome to our forums!
Im sorry this is happening.
You are correct, you can’t control what happens around you but you can always control how you react to it.
I understand your family member seems depressed…….. maybe there is more going on than the eye can see? Maybe just try to show some understanding to her I understand it isn’t easy at times but understanding can go a long way.
When she is yelling or showing anger it’s a reflection of herself and how she feels in herself…… it’s not you.
Maybe you could encourage her to see a gp and discuss the way she is feeling…..