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Forums / Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers) / Single family member unable to find partner

Topic: Single family member unable to find partner

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Cele
    Cele avatar
    1 posts
    3 January 2022

    Hi all

    I have a family member struggling to find a partner in life for a few years now. During that time she’s watched all her family around her get married and have babies (her dream for herself). Over time this has led to depression and an anger and hatred for life. She lives alone in a small apartment (it’s what she wants). She doesn’t just sit at home and give up she tries over and over to meet someone but over time has developed less patience and more anger at those she meets which does show. As her family we are really struggling to cope with her constant anger, withdrawals, being punching bags but most importantly we are frustrating and exhausted at trying to know how to support her and help her in something we can’t control. She feels life is not worth living if she can’t find a man. I am writing this after sending a message to her saying enough is enough I won’t put up with you using me being a target of your anger anymore. I know this was the wrong thing to say but honestly don’t know what to say anymore after so many years. Please provide guidance.

  2. HappyHelper88
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
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    HappyHelper88 avatar
    198 posts
    3 January 2022 in reply to Cele

    Hey There Cele,

    Thank you for your post and welcome

    Im so sorry to hear that must have been really hard for her and I can understand why she shes become depressed and angry.
    From my experience I think people can tell when someone tries too hard or acts quite desperate and it can send people running the other way.

    This is a very hard situation because I think she may feel she is running out of time but a lot of people don't know that in this kind of start it is hard to attract a partner, if she was in a positive mindset and calm she may be able to meet someone with the law of attraction

    I am not an expert on love and relationships but I think I know something that may help if she if she is open to watching a video its called This is why you cant find Love-By Dr Joe Dispenza and it goes for 2 hours but the first 30 minutes is also great I found it to be an amazing video, Joe Dispenza specialises in Positive Mindset, Positive Psychology and the law of attraction
    I hope this helps

    1 person found this helpful
  3. jaz28
    Community Champion
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    jaz28 avatar
    457 posts
    4 January 2022 in reply to Cele

    Hello,

    i Am sorry you have been experiencing this. It is difficult to be someone’s rock over and over again and at times you really do have to say enough is enough. You need to put yourself first.

    you can still support your family member but boundaries are important in maintaining a healthy relationship. Set these boundaries with them and I hope things improve.

    You could also refer her to a psychologist if need me.

    Jaz xx

  4. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    2000 posts
    4 January 2022 in reply to Cele

    Hi Cele,

    Wellcome to our forums!

    Im sorry this is happening.

    You are correct, you can’t control what happens around you but you can always control how you react to it.

    I understand your family member seems depressed…….. maybe there is more going on than the eye can see? Maybe just try to show some understanding to her I understand it isn’t easy at times but understanding can go a long way.

    When she is yelling or showing anger it’s a reflection of herself and how she feels in herself…… it’s not you.

    Maybe you could encourage her to see a gp and discuss the way she is feeling…..

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