Dear Blackboy,
As soon as I saw you had replied, I thought 'Yay'! He's keeping in touch ...... and then I read that although she didn't drink on the holiday, she did drink on return, and, by your account has 'stumbled' quite badly.
So my 'yay' was quite quickly deflated. I am so sorry to hear that this just seems to be one of those situations that is going to have a rather sad story to it.
I know you say that she is your world and you have no-one else, (and I've probably mentioned this before) but if you go to Al-Anon, you will find there understanding and support. You can learn to live your best possible life, even though she is continuing to drink. I urge you, with all the earnestness that I can, to try Al-anon again. There is a whole new bunch of friends and 'soul' family in Al-anon, just waiting to meet you ..... you must haven't met them yet.
And if not Al-anon, then maybe you could join some other group of some sort? Like a local men's shed or something? Something that is just for you, and that will help you to break that cycle of constantly picking up after her ...... something that gets you out of the house, away from the pain of watching her destroy herself.
It sounds like putting her into permanent care is the best option. Certainly not the easiest, by any means, but the best. You have carried this heavy load for a long time now. There IS a future for you, and her ...... it's just not at all how you thought it might be. It's not too late to turn things around at least for yourself. And who knows, maybe it will give you both a bit of relief? It doesn't mean that you can't visit her ........ but it sounds like you are in desperate need of a break. And soon.
Again, I am sorry to hear of this dreadful fall back into the pit of alcoholism. I wish I could help some more, I really do.
And if you don't join Al-anon again, or a men's shed or whatever, then just keep coming back here ...... but I have a suggestion with that too; the next time you post on here, tell me what you have done for YOURSELF. something JUST for you, that didn't involve trying to control or cure your wife's drinking.
Most importantly, don't lose hope for yourself. We're here for you. No matter what. And I'll be watching for your next post, for a hobby you engaged in, or something you did just for you. Just for an hour. Just because.
Take care. Still here for you. xo