Reading your post has given me strength and much needed support. All of which I'm going to need on my journey of leaving my (what I now know) covert narcissist husband.
I never knew there were different types of NPD.
We have separated and currently living under the same roof until he finds a place to rent.
Been married 17years. Making the decision to separate was the hardest part for me.
And I am in the middle of an emotional rollercoaster. Trying to hide it while in his company cause my narc enjoys seeing me unhappy.
I will be looking for that book you recommended :-)
Needing to gain my own validation of how I'm now leaving a second marriage.
Hope it gets easier and I can stop blaming myself. I know I can...I will....with help and support of professionals and others who have experienced this.
Writing in a forum is my first step.
Face to face is what I am going to look for in a support group.
I don't know if I'm even making sense.
I guess just knowing that it is a real 'thing' after all this time and learning about a covert narcissist puts my last 17 years into perspective.