Where do I begin, things are hard that is for sure. I am looking around the library at school, that is for sure. But what is not for sure is my train of thoughts, how I feel, what to do as of this moment.

First of all year, nine is difficult, all the assessments, the daily tasks, lack of friends and painful feelings and emotions. I will be strong, I will be strong (I always tell myself this), does it work? NO, well maybe, I don't know. More directly I lost a friend this year, suicide.

Secondly, I know my only two friends (who are in a relationship) are both harming. They are stressed, drawn out and tired.

Finally I don't even know what to do or who I am anymore, what do I do?

Hi Ryan,

Welcome to the forums. We're are so sorry to hear how much you are stuggling right now and for the loss of your firiend.

We want you to know you've come to a safe and non-judgmental place where users give and receive support based on their own experiences with mental health.

Were here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

Please know no matter how dark things may seem, they can get better and support is always available. If you'd like to speak to a mental health professional you can call our support service 24/7 on 13 11 14 or our friends at Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or webchat via: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

Please check in to let us know how you're getting on whenever you feel up to it.

Hi Ryan W

I am really proud you have found your way here when I can hear how much you are struggling at the moment. Year 9 is hard, really hard and as you say, so many different things going on with classes, new subjects, people dealing with relationships, hormones, teachers, parents...it is all alot.

I am wondering if you feel like your school counselor could be someone who you could talk to? They might be able to help with some support and some ways to relieve some pressure, especially with the assessment side of things. Just letting your school know you are struggling might be the relief you need at this time.

Also as Sophie_M has pointed out to you Kids Helpline, they are so amazing and are a really wonderful support that we have, the web chat is also good if you feel you may struggle in talking or having a conversation.

I am sorry to know that your friends are self harming, that must be alot for you to think about too. What is going on for them and how to help and support them too, maybe this is a time that you can share together and help each other out, only if it does not make you feel worse that is. Maybe you could share some of the support lines with them also.

I know somewhat of your pain with regards to losing a friend to suicide, I lost my 19 yo brother last year. I am so sorry that you are having to go through the process that comes with suicide, it really is a different sort of grief I have found. Have you got some people to talk to about these things, especially the grief and even about suicide. I found once I started to know a few things about suicide and why people die by this method I could start to heal.

Do you have some things in your life that bring you some joy? Things that you like to do that even put a smile on your face? I hope so, as these are the things you can have to remind yourself that there are better days ahead. School is hard and I have found no truth in the saying "school is the best years of your life"..nope...kids can be cruel.

I hope to chat to you some more and to find out some more about how you are feeling Ryan W.

Hugs to you

Sarah

Sarah and Sophie,

I am so grateful you both put the time into reading what I wrote and have taken the time to type such brilliant and helpful messages, it was just so relieving to read what you said, Sarah and I am very appreciative of all of it. I do totally agree that people say "school is the best years of your life, ..nope...kids can be cruel." Kids can be so cruel its uncanny.

Thanks,

Ryan

We are here for you Ryan in whatever capacity you need, someone to talk to, someone to listen, we are here.

I am so glad that you have found some of the suggestions helpful to you.

Hope today can bring a smile to your face.

Hugs

Sarah