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Forums / Welcome and orientation / Boyfriend Flashback

Topic: Boyfriend Flashback

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. LonelyGirl89
    LonelyGirl89 avatar
    27 posts
    9 June 2019
    This morning, I was watching weekend sunrise and they were talking about an X-Men movie. Then I went to a place where we ate at once upon a time and now I feel like I’m reliving this day when my partner and I were together, enjoying a meal and this X-Men movie. It’s making me feel like my mind is being poisoned
  2. Alexlisa
    Alexlisa avatar
    196 posts
    9 June 2019 in reply to LonelyGirl89

    Hello LonelyGirl

    That sounds quite annoying, when we’re trying to move on from ex partners but the things around us continue to be reminders. They seem to pop up at the most unexpected times and can feel like a real punch in the gut.

    From memory, you struggle with OCD, so I’m not surprised that your mind is making something of this coincidence. With OCD it’s easy to become hooked on troubling thoughts and uncertainties, and coincidences play straight into this. But please remember that thoughts are not facts. It’s so important to try to hold onto that. Our thoughts are just busy words in our head and they can’t actually hurt you.

    I’m sorry you’re feeling like this today. Maybe it’s a good idea to take it easy for the rest of the day and do something that helps you to feel grounded and calm. Maybe you like to watch a long tv series, do a puzzle or colour in? Anything that will be a good distraction just to pass this day without too much ruminating. I hope you’ll feel better soon.

    Take care

    Alexlisa

  3. LonelyGirl89
    LonelyGirl89 avatar
    27 posts
    11 June 2019 in reply to Alexlisa
    Sorry that I didn’t reply earlier. It’s so hard for me to focus on something cause my mind goes around in circles and the anxiety goes there. I have PDD as well, so I have a very big mix bag of crap
  4. White Rose
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    White Rose avatar
    6325 posts
    11 June 2019 in reply to LonelyGirl89

    Hello Lonely Girl

    I agree with Alexlisa about coincidences. Even when we know it's coincidental it still gets under our guard and messes with the brain. You know about the earworm? When you cannot get a song or piece of music out of your mind and no matter what you do it keeps coming back. Sometimes these reminders can be a memory worm. Not sure if there is an expression for this. Anyway it just keeps burrowing.

    It will eventually disappear but so frustrating while it is with you. I wonder if making a constant effort to think of something happy, not to do with ex, could be helpful. Alexlisa has suggested various activities and this is good. Sometimes a more physical activities can help. Something like gardening or going for a walk, meeting some for a catch up and coffee. I'm sure have various strategies up your sleeve.

    May I ask, what is PDD? I don't recognise the initials.

    That feeling of your mind going in circles and losing concentration is familiar. It helps to do something that you know very well. Walking is almost doing something on automatic pilot. It does help by releasing hormones into your system which can lift your mood. You are also working on your fitness as a bonus. 🌻

    I have found this is the trick to keep my mind in order, do something familiar but still needs you to be involved. Remember you are always welcome here.

    Mary

  5. LonelyGirl89
    LonelyGirl89 avatar
    27 posts
    12 June 2019 in reply to Alexlisa
    PDD is Pervasive Development Disorder

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