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Forums / Welcome and orientation / Constantly ruining my life

Topic: Constantly ruining my life

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. bec9pm
    bec9pm avatar
    1 posts
    11 May 2020


    I'm 26 years old and have been at uni since 2012, I keep changing courses and failing to complete work, i'm unmotivated can't concentrate and feel worthless, I have depression anxiety and AHDH but haven't been getting treatment the past couple years.

    I was in a 6 year long term relationship that came to and end last year because he was cheating , he always hated me being an anti-depressants which I think is why I stopped treatment and haven't been back

    But I keep repeating the same failures, I don't try , I don't feel like leaving bed , don't want to see people, do any activities - just always want to cry and I feel like ill never have anything that will make me happy and im just stuck not moving on never finishing anything

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9215 posts
    11 May 2020 in reply to bec9pm

    Hi, welcome

    One if the big issue is with mental illness have is trying to fit our square minds into the round hole of traditional lifestyles and expectations.

    With issues like ADHD, anxiety, depression etc we underestimate how these illnesses place us at a disadvantage in challenges that are already hard to succeed in. Commonly University for example has its own road blocks to stability required for success eg income, HECS, study, transport etc add to that relationship issues and mental are sinking.

    For the above reasons we should think outside the box to weave our way towards a future carved out just for the individual. Eg I’ve had 90 jobs and 15 professions due to mania. Eventually the only profession suited was a small business working on my own.

    In your situation I’d suggest a new approach with treatment is required because continuing untreated won’t be ideal. I had to try a dozen medications before one suited me and I’ve never looked back.

    I hope I’ve motivated you a little. Thankyou for coming and repost anytime


  3. White Rose
    Champion Alumni
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    White Rose avatar
    6325 posts
    11 May 2020 in reply to bec9pm

    Dear bec9pm

    Hello and welcome to the forum. Please feel free to post about the difficulties you have so we can support you in these tough times. Like Tony I have also been through the washing machine of depression. Not at all nice. Here we can share our experiences, as Tony has done, and talk about what has worked for us. What works for one person may not be good for another but it does give a place to start.

    Getting over the loss of someone dear to you takes time. Every day we wake and hope the pain has gone. It does go but often slowly leaving us feeling drained and unmotivated. We are also prone to blaming ourselves which makes us feel worse and so the downward spiral gets going. Hard to stop which is why I suggest you return to some professional help.

    As you are in uni perhaps you can contact the uni counselling people. I think all universities have a counselling program. The advantage of this is they know how much study can affect our lifestyles and how dispirited we get. They are also very much on the ball about relationship breakdowns as the uni population I'm guessing has many of these.

    Feeling helpless is quite common so you are not alone. Do you manage to get to lectures and how do you do this? It's good to look at something you can do and see if you can apply the same motivating process elsewhere. Hoping happiness will just appear at your bedside does not work. Can you set your sights lower and work on getting through each day and count the successes you had with that day. Knowing you can do something well is such a good feeling. I congratulate you on finding your way to beyondblue.

    Like Tony I tried many antidepressants before I was prescribed something I could not only tolerate but which helped me to feel so much better. That was such a relief. If it's more that you don't like taking ADs then I suggest you have a chat with your GP, or prescribing doctor, about this. I'm not keen on taking any meds but unfortunately I have to take meds for a medical condition. I really wish I did not need to do but the potential outcome if I stop would not be good.

    Love Tony's analogy of our square minds and round holes of reality. We do need to learn to adapt.

    Please post here as often as you wish.


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