hi guys , im new to all this I didn't even have a email up until now lol. soo iv been out of jail for a yr now I served 5 yrs with my best friend he served 4 . we have been best friends for as long as I can rember more like brothers we have a lot of friends but not as close or the kind of bond we share we do everything together .so right before going to jail we joind a gang 'soo stupid I look back now an cant beleve how stupid I was its so embarrising ' so my mate dose his 4 yrs an I still have a yr to go I ring him regulary I can see things are weird between us now like hes taking this gang shit way to seroz, I ended up waking up to my self an I think I just grew up over the yrs .I rang him one day an explained to him how stupid this shit is an im leaving were to good for these idiots to his reply oh yea im happy im not leaving .that hurt things changed after that I still rang him every few weeks but it was arcward. so I finally get out an I cant hang with him anymore he was my brother he should have left with me I would of done that for him if I loved it like he dose but any way im so hurt over this its not funny I lost my best mate just like that . before going to jail I had so many friends but after 1 yr they stop visiting u and ur forgotten . so when I got out I had them calling me coming to my house but I couldn't look at them knowing they forgot me inside for yrs , so now iv pushed every one away im lonely as I don't have a best friend or anyone I can call my true friend .I find my self bored all the time I miss my old life when I was out with mates everyday having fun .weeknds I just sit at home depressed even cry sometimes . not sure what to do any more. sorry for the novel but I thought I had to go into detail so yous understand my situation thanks for reading

Hi kurtbolt. Being in jail or any institution means we become accustomed to a certain lifestyle of rules and regulations. Was your friend granted early parole, if he was he probably was instructed to cease all contact. The hardest part is the transition back to the outside. Making decisions is scary after 5 years of being told when to eat, go to bed, get up etc. Trying to re-establish contact with a former inmate (even one you've known well) might not be in your best interests. Do you have any interests or hobbies that you can do as a sort of therapy. What sort of work did you engage in while serving time? I realise how difficult life can be after being institutionalized, there are things you can do to assist you. Unfortunately, today, many people are extremely judgemental about ex inmates or people with physical disabilities. Maybe look at volunteer work as a start. Meals on Wheels would certainly help with the transition. Are you on meds for the depression? A year isn't that long so I imagine you're probably still adjusting.