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Forums / Welcome and orientation / First post from another stressed uni student. Hello!

Topic: First post from another stressed uni student. Hello!

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. lovecores
    lovecores avatar
    1 posts
    1 October 2020

    Hello everyone!

    I debated posting here since I get anxious about putting myself out there, as anonymous as this forum is. But I have a lot in my mind and I need to pour it out somewhere. So here I am!

    I'm a uni student in my second year, and as you can imagine, it hasn't been a great second year. I haven't been submitting assignments, barely going to online classes, barely able to concentrate--now I'll have to be held back another year to be able to graduate, and paired with my parents' expectations, it's a little too much for me.

    I'm undiagnosed with anything, but that's only because I don't have the independence to--especially from my parents who feel 'everyone goes through anxiety', even though I feel mine is much more severe than normal. But I guess that's because I always try to not show it. I don't want to make my parents worry for their only child. But upon years of research, I suspect I may have depression, GAD and ADHD--a truly awful combo for my brain and my productivity! But I can't really know for sure until I get professionally diagnosed. (I have been experiencing ADHD symptoms since I was a child [a "creative brain", my dad says] though, and mental health issues since year 10...)

    I just realised this makes my parents look bad--they do mean the world to me. They just don't really understand, I guess. And I'm scared they'll overreact once they do and make me feel worse. (I'm also part of the LGBT community and I'm not out, but that's a whole different ballpark...)

    I feel I've rambled too much, so I'll stop here. Overall, haven't been doing great. But I'm glad I found this forum to let it out. I'll be around to give support to everyone too! Let's stay strong, especially during these circumstances!

  2. Emmen
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Emmen avatar
    388 posts
    1 October 2020 in reply to lovecores

    Hello lovecores,

    Welcome to the forums. It's been a tough year and I'm glad you've reached out here.

    It sounds like your parents' expectations are a significant source of your struggles now. I don't think this puts your parents in a bad light though. It simply speaks of the changing climate in which we are growing up (compared to our parents). The conversation around mental health is more open now than it was before. Your parents may have been brought up in a climate where mental health is not properly understood.

    That said, there's no reason why you shouldn't seek treatment. It's normal for any parent to worry about their child, but it's still better for you to address your mental health concerns rather than to leave it untreated. Apart from addressing what you're going through now, I'm also encouraging you to do this for the future. You're not out yet, but if you choose to come out, you will also need to be equipped with the right skills to protect your mental wellbeing in the process. You getting treatment for mental health concerns may also help your parents understand what you're going through as well.

    Do see a GP and talk to him/her about this.

    Take care,
    M

  3. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    5765 posts
    1 October 2020 in reply to lovecores

    hello and welcome to beyond blue.

    you are right in describing this has not been the best year on record. I can see how you might be concerned about posting even though you are anonymous and not sure how others might respond to you. After a while you will realise this is place where users accept each other and do not judge each other. Besides ... if you knew the things that I worry about...

    And so found the courage and posted here which might also mark the start of a new journey.

    I also noticed the remarks you made about your parents! I have similar concerns when I speak with my psychologist about things from my past. They gave me everything I needed. And yet there also something missing - at least for me. I am not saying this is your story either except that things that would be said effected me in negative ways as well. And this also goes back to the remark from M about different generations.

    There are a couple of things you could look at - the first is the K10 test on the beyond blue web site. it is just a small test with a recommendation at the end. The other thing you might consider is chatting with the Uni counsellor about things to find some way of moving forward from where you are.

    All of this might sound scary but from where I started I am a lot better. The one thing I have learnt from all of this is that keeping the hurt inside did not work. Being able to chat with someone who does not judge you can be a great help. Listening to you...

    Tim

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