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Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Topic: Hello

  1. Chipmunk
    Chipmunk avatar
    22 posts
    15 January 2021

    Thankyou all for being so patient with me. I’ve just needed time to sort my head out more.
    I’m doing better I’ve had better days recently still feel depressed but getting there.
    please if we can still brainstorm ideas I really think it would help me. I just want to be my happy self again.
    my daughter has been my saviour lately, she’s come up to me when I’ve been so down and just a simple I love you mum you’re my best friend, that’s what gets me through the day.

    Does anyone ever fee 100% again after going through something so traumatic?

    Also what’s on my mind is, when my case goes to court what if they let my dad off what if he gets to walk out of there? Would everything I’ve been through be for nothing? I’m scared, I’m scared I’m going to crumble and not be able to pick myself up. please help me

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    15 January 2021 in reply to Chipmunk

    Hey Chipmunk, of course we're all here for you, respond when you're ready. We all understand.

    I'm glad you have a nice Daughter to help you. I hope the court case goes well in your favour. I don't know much about courts I'm afraid.

  3. Tay100
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Tay100 avatar
    647 posts
    16 January 2021 in reply to Chipmunk

    Hi Chipmunk,

    It's great to hear that you'd like to brainstorm- hopefully, we can get you addressing some accessibility barriers as soon as possible to help you deal with everything you have going on right now.

    If you could give us a list of some key things that you feel prevents you from accessing mental health help- we can then point you in the direction of some resources, continue to provide peer support and help you make the most of you support networks, like your daughter. She sounds like a great source of strength. As previously mentioned by other great posters, take your time too.

    Tay100

  4. sunnyl20
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    sunnyl20 avatar
    203 posts
    17 January 2021 in reply to Chipmunk

    Hi Chipmunk,

    It is great to hear that you have been having better days recently - I am so glad. It sounds like your daughter is such a positive in your life and that spending time with her and planning activities to do together will help you to keep your head above the water. Sorry just to clarify, in terms of brainstorming ideas, do you mean in relation to feeling better in yourself and/or accessing help or something else?

    I cannot imagine how frightening and painful the prospect of going to court must be for you, it is understandable that that would be on your mind a lot. I think it is so important that you have a therapist, health professional or someone else who you can trust to help you navigate the complexities and problems that arise and to support you through the process. I am really sorry, I don't know the answers to your questions and I don't want to say the wrong thing, but The Blue Knot Foundation does have some resources about going to court (https://www.blueknot.org.au/Survivors/Support/Resources-for-Survivors/Going-to-court) and contacting them may be an option to get further advice, support and information. They may also be able to help you with a referral to the appropriate services.

    When you feel up to it, let us know how you are going and how we can help. Give yourself the time and space that you need. Be kind to yourself, and take care.

  5. Chipmunk
    Chipmunk avatar
    22 posts
    24 January 2021

    Hey guys.

    Sorry its been a while, i went through a really down time lately, i feel like im trapped under all this weight again, i cant keep feeling this down. other than that im plodding along day by day. I guess brainstorm ideas to help myself feel better and accessing help. i cannot keep the happiness going when i feel like my insides are tearing apart.

    Im tired of being tired and exhausted..

  6. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5646 posts
    24 January 2021 in reply to Chipmunk
    Hi Chipmunk,

    We're sorry to hear that you're feeling trapped and down lately. We understand how exhausting it can be. Please know that you're not alone and many of our community members have been through similar periods. On brainstorming ideas - is there anything that has helped you through difficult times in the past?

    You mentioned that your doctor was closed over the holiday period; have they re-opened? It sounds like it would definitely be worth getting an appointment as soon as you're able to.

    You might be interested in our page "Staying well" - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/staying-well

    Please remember that if you need support, you can always get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

    It's great to see that you've made a lot of connections already on the forums, and that this has helped you to feel a bit less alone. We're glad that you reached out here tonight and we hope that our community is of some comfort to you in this difficult time.
  7. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    24 January 2021 in reply to Chipmunk

    Hey Chipmunk, lovely to hear from you again, I've been thinking of you.

    It's all good that you were away from here for a bit, we all need a break and time to ourselves, whatever and however that may be.

    I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way, is there anything we can do?

  8. Tay100
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Tay100 avatar
    647 posts
    25 January 2021

    Hi Chipmunk

    Taking a break is perfectly ok- have you been able to get in touch with your doctor?

    We are here if you'd to brainstorm ways to improve your mood and access help, as you said, we are more than happy to do that.

    Tay100

  9. sunnyl20
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    sunnyl20 avatar
    203 posts
    30 January 2021 in reply to Chipmunk

    Hey Chipmunk,

    I'm really sorry to hear you've been feeling so exhausted and stuck and having such a down time. It sounds like you are really struggling to get much relief. I really admire your strength to continue to push forward each day despite feeling like everything is pulling you down. In terms of accessing help, what feels possible and achievable for you right now? Is there someone (a GP, mental health professional, other clinician) who you have seen in the past that you would feel able to contact and/or make an appointment with? Did you have any more thoughts about contacting The Blue Knot and maybe getting some advice on the best way forward?

    To help yourself feel a little better in the short term, it sounds like spending time with your daughter has helped in the past - keeping this up may just help to take the edge off your distress and keep some sense of hope alive. Maybe planning some things to do with her. Is there anyone else who you feel safe and comfortable with who you like spending time with? Has there been anything in the past that has helped you when you have felt this awful in the past?

    I am really sorry things are still feeling so difficult right now. Please know that we are here for you. Take as much time as you need to process what is going on and don't feel any pressure to reply or respond - you can engage with the forums as much or as little as you want. Please be kind to yourself and take care.

  10. Tay100
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Tay100 avatar
    647 posts
    3 February 2021

    Hi Chipmunk,

    Just thought I'd check-in and see how you were? It has been a while since we heard from you- please feel free to keep us updated or of course, you can also just read other posts on the forums that might resonate with you.

  11. Chipmunk
    Chipmunk avatar
    22 posts
    5 February 2021

    Hey guys!

    So I took a well deserved break because everything was still too much, (must admit today was a pretty horrible day) but I’m trying to get better again. I’ve started talking to someone else, I’ve recently found out that I was always the strong one in my family and I was always there for them but when I needed them they weren’t there for me so I was feeling angry and frustrated at that as well as all the other things that were getting me down and I’m working on fixing it.

    Im trying this new thing to not let what people say to me or about me worry me cause they haven’t walked in my shoes they don’t know the reason I am why I am so why should I justify myself.

    i still have a loooong way to go, especially with court and all and I still don’t know how I’m supposed to be feeling about it all. I’m constantly feeling gross and disgusting no matter how many times I shower.

    I really hope I still have you all for support because except my daughter you guys are really the only ones that have helped me get through some of my darkest days so Thankyou.

    I’ll try to post more regularly but as you may know when you’re so down you just don’t wanna do anything, yeah I was at that point for a while.

    1 person found this helpful
  12. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15065 posts
    6 February 2021 in reply to Chipmunk

    Hello Chipmunk, it does feel like there’s no one else who feels the same way as you do, but hidden by them pretending to be OK, there are those who understand, and any negative judgement by someone is only their opinion and not how others feel and want to support you.

    Our life consists of asking for help in many different areas so how can I achieve something I don't know how to do, you ask someone, mum how do I make a cake, dad how do I paint this wall, and it's no different when you are feeling depressed, allow someone with experience to help you, in your own way.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

  13. Chipmunk
    Chipmunk avatar
    22 posts
    7 February 2021 in reply to geoff

    That’s the thing, up until now I’ve never been good at asking for help, growing up my dad was always like you have to do everything or cope with everything by yourself and when you’re told that from a young age you really start to believe it aswell in the future.

    I guess besides here and my dr I’m struggling to find someone to talk to or let alone asking for help. because yes that’s what I was always told as a child.

    1 person found this helpful
  14. sunnyl20
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    sunnyl20 avatar
    203 posts
    7 February 2021 in reply to Chipmunk

    Hey Chipmunk,

    It is understandable that you feel this way when it has been ingrained in you from a young age. I am sorry that this has been such a barrier for you and has made seeking help that much more difficult. You do not need to do this alone though. There is support available - whether you are really not coping at all or just feeling a little wobbly. And we are definitely here to support you - we hear you, and we are here for you. You don't have to do this alone. Take care and reach out as and when you feel/want to.

  15. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    7 February 2021 in reply to Chipmunk
    Hi Chipmunk, I hope you're doing ok.
  16. Chipmunk
    Chipmunk avatar
    22 posts
    22 February 2021

    Hey guys.

    I’m still plodding along day by day but I’ve been doing better. Finally got a house so I can start relaxing a little bit more, I’ve decided to get in contact with old friends so I have more of a support network. I still have shitty days but I’m working on me and trying to not let anything get to me.

    I really didn’t know how much stress I was really under till I moved. But this past weekend has been good.

    Thankyou everyone for caring I do appreciate it

    1 person found this helpful
  17. sunnyl20
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    sunnyl20 avatar
    203 posts
    22 February 2021 in reply to Chipmunk

    Hey Chipmunk,

    It is great to hear from you. I'm really glad to hear that you have been feeling a bit better and have been able to relax a little bit more. Keep on keeping on. We are always here.

    Hope you have a good week. Take care.

  18. Chipmunk
    Chipmunk avatar
    22 posts
    6 March 2021

    Hey guys!

    sorry for late reply, I’m still fighting but the past couple of weeks have been pretty okay. I’m still struggling mentally but I’m not as bad as I was. I’m finding that I need time for me, I needed to get me sorted. Court will still happen I hope but I’ll get justice. I feel like this is my year.

    I still feel up and down but I am doing better

  19. sunnyl20
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    sunnyl20 avatar
    203 posts
    7 March 2021 in reply to Chipmunk

    Hey Chipmunk,

    No need to apologise - you can post as much and as often as you wish. It is great to hear from you. I hope you can continue to work through the ups and the downs and find what keeps you going. Thinking of you and sending you strength. Take care.

  20. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    4513 posts
    7 March 2021 in reply to Chipmunk

    Hey Chipmunk

    You're dealing with a lot right now, it's understandable you've felt so overwhelmed at times.

    Have you heard of the helpline 1800RESPECT?
    They have sweet Counsellors and if you ask, they can put you through to a Trauma Psychologist and they stay with you for the hour if you can.

    They were my Saviours when I was going through Courts and a really terrible time.
    They helped long afterwards too.

    Please consider doing one self-care thing for yourself each day (or more often if you can).
    Also extending the same beautiful compassion you show to others, to yourself.

    Kindest wishes
    Love EM

    1 person found this helpful
  21. Chipmunk
    Chipmunk avatar
    22 posts
    19 May 2021

    Hey all.

    im back. I’ve had a horrid few months. My daughter has been really really sick. I almost lost her. She’s doing better now she’s almost back to her normal self. I’ve found a place and it’s finally just my daughter my partner and myself.

    the past couple of days have just been up and down and I don’t know why.

    I thought I was doing well then bam it all comes back.

  22. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15065 posts
    23 May 2021 in reply to Chipmunk

    Hello Chipmunk, I'm sorry for the late reply and feel so much about how you, your partner and your daughter are feeling and know that when each day comes can certainly be very different, situations or occasions that can differ from one day to the next, it's an illness we can never predict what's going to happen and it can all of a sudden surprise not only you but everyone else as well.

    We hope you can get back to us.

    Geoff.

  23. Chipmunk
    Chipmunk avatar
    22 posts
    23 July 2021

    Hey.

    well I’m really struggling now, with being in lockdown my daughter can’t go to daycare I’m studying online my partner is working from home. I feel trapped. Being at home just makes me feel like I’m living party of my childhood again and I’m feeling anxious. I feel like a bad parent cause I can’t let my daughter see her friends.

    can anyone help me please?

  24. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5646 posts
    23 July 2021 in reply to Chipmunk
    Hi Chipmunk, 

    We are really sorry to hear that you are struggling during this lockdown, it sounds like you have a lot going right now so we can only imagine how hard it must be. Looking after others while trying to look after ourselves is a challenging thing to do, and we want to encrouage you to do what you can to do some self-care. 

    If you ever feel like talking to someone, we are here for you. You can call us on 1300 22 4636 anytime. You can also call our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14

    Looking after ourself is really hard but maybe these article can help with some ideas:
    - Looking after yourself in lockdown
    - Ways to look after your mental health 
    - Finding a space inside that feels safe and calm

    There is also some advice for supporting children through these tough times here if you would find that helpful. 

    We want to thank you for sharing this with us on the forums, it's not always easy to say how we are feeling. You neveer know who else might read this and feel less alone. 

    Kind regards, 
    Sophie M
  25. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    8908 posts
    23 July 2021 in reply to Chipmunk

    Hello Chipmunk,

    I was surfing the forums and came across your thread..I haven’t read through all of it, just a few posts back...

    Sophie M, has given you some great reading and I hope that you feel up to reading those threads..They are so helpful...

    What I really wanted to say...is that there is no way you should feel like a bad parent for keeping your daughter at home....To me you are one of the most caring and living parent in doing this because you are keeping your daughter safe....and at this horrible time that the world outside is not safe...you are doing a wonderful job....

    Please don’t think you are not a good parent...

    Is it possible to talk to your partner and allocate a time that each of you can take at least an hour on your own , to have your own space to do what you feel to do....for yourself only...

    My kindest thoughts dear Chipmunk..

    Grandy..

  26. Chipmunk
    Chipmunk avatar
    22 posts
    9 September 2021

    Hey everyone.

    How is everyone? I’m feeling so many things right now. I feel anxious and sad but angry and worried aswell.

    our lockdown just keeps getting extended and extended, we are now looking at mid October before we even come out of lockdown. I’m sick of looking at the same 4 walls or doing the same thing over and over again because I can’t do anything.

    Even though I don’t need to I still feel a bad mum to my daughter sometimes, I just want her to be able to see her friends every time I tell her she can’t she gets upset and it breaks me. I miss my mum I haven’t seen her since may and I’ve missed everyone in my family’s birthdays.

    I’m scared that court won’t happen because of Covid and if it doesn’t then what. I just want answers to why I wasn’t good enough.

    I’m trying my best to make sure my family is happy and be the strong one but they don’t (my brothers) understand the till it takes on me. I’m always the last child to find out something and it upsets me! I FEEL ALONE! Even though I have my partner ans daughter. Not to mention studying full time when my teacher doesn’t help me I don’t know what I’m doing.

    ive had enough. I just can’t deal anymore!

    hope you’re all well I just needed a big rant.

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