Hi everyone and anyone,

I really don't know where to start or what to say. I know I need help, support, attention, advice, kindness, acknowledgement, a shoulder to cry on, a laugh, a friend. I'd also like to be those things for other people too. I have that age old problem of being really good at listening, helping and offering advice to others but useless at being those things for myself! 

I guess now I need to choose a forum and start talking, then hopefully someone will relate and want to help and share their stories too.

Here's to being brave and opening up! 

Hi Sofala,

Welcome to the forum :)

Thank you for your post. You made a great point. It's fantastic that you are a good listener. Honestly, more people need to be like that! Friendships will come more easily to you because of this great quality. However, as you've said, you struggle to help yourself and take on board ideas that you would probably give to others as advice! I sometimes have this struggle too! There are suggestions I make on this forum to others that I should probably take myself! ha-ha

Making an appointment with your GP to discuss any health or life issues you may have is a good option. I say this a lot on the forum, but it's because your doctor can be a really great support, and is a great way to start getting help.

Best wishes,

SM

dear Sofala, hello and thanks for you post.

Well there are so many people on this site who certainly need a helping hand, someone to listen to what they have to say, because most times they don't have anyone else to talk to, so your support would be really be a great help.

There are people here that can give advice to someone else, which is great for both people, but they can do this because they don't actually have to do it themselves, maybe this could be a fear of believing that they couldn't follow through with it themselves, any way it still makes them think.

It's an interesting point you raise, because would you able to tell your grandma how to do something in a different way to what she is used to, the chances are 100 to 1, but she would give you all the advice you need, and please I'm not suggesting that you are at a grandma age.

There are many people who feel embarrassed in giving advice, but they should never feel that way. Geoff.

Hi Sofala,

You remind me of myself, I have spent a lot of my life trying to support the emotional needs of others.

Helping other people, can to a degree, really help heal some people. To me it has always felt good to do the right thing by other people.

What I have learned though, is that things must never be entirely one sided. Its fine to offer emotional and other support to people, but it is critical that your own mental wellbeing and emotional needs are taken into considering and are not ignored.

What you have said you are looking for and value in others here, is basically the same as how I feel. In fact to me personally the primary way I measure or "judge" other people is by how they relate to and treat other people.

Best wishes to you and thanks for your introduction.