Thanks everyone who replied, it's very encouraging. I'll just write this here, since I'm not entirely sure where it's meant to go. Prepare for a bit of a ramble.
What's been mainly worrying me at the moment has been my Dad's drinking habits. He has patches where he drinks a fair bit, and fairly steadily throughout the day, usually when he's really sad. Last year he had a patch, understandably with *everything*. Last year I spoke to my Mum about it (they're separated) and she spoke to his sister which prompted him to seek professional help, which helped I think.
He seemed to be doing better, until a month or so ago when he started drinking more again, often hiding it from me. When he's drunk, he's mostly just tired and a bit confused, but his eyes always have this deep sadness about them which always make me upset. And it's always so strange because no matter how sick or drunk he gets, he never talks about it the next day, we always act like everything's fine and nothing happened.
When he started drinking again this year I left my Dad a letter confronting him about it, seeing as I struggle to talk to him in person about it and thought this would be a good first step. And it was, I told my Mum about it, and his sister talked to him again, and he messaged me. But after going back to his house after being at my Mum's, everything seems the same again, if not worse. We still don't talk about it, he stills hides his bottles of vodka, still looks really sad.
And I know these things are in no way immediate fixes. But I don't know what to do from here. I know I can't fix his problems for him, but spending time with him is just making me sad, I still don't know how to talk to him about it, and I know I shouldn't but I get so angry whenever he hides his drinking from me. I feel like just pouring all the alcohol in the house out, just smashing bottles and getting really angry, but that solves nothing.
I sort of just want to go back to my Mum's, but I feel like I'm abandoning him. My Mum is being really good, talking to me whenever I'm upset, offering to come help, but I'm just not sure what to do.
Yeah that was a ramble. I warned you.