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Topic: I'm a loser

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. mrdjw
    mrdjw avatar
    1 posts
    7 August 2019
    I suffer from bad depression and anxiety. The other day a Dr told me I should just get over it. My condition has stopped me working. I used to do some acting in local theatre, but a 'friend' made up stories about me that everyone else believed, so my name is dirt as far as that is concerned. I've got no confidence, and though I'm not suicidal I have nothing to look forward to either.
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9412 posts
    7 August 2019 in reply to mrdjw

    Hi, welcome

    It isnt uncommon to find a Dr that isnt empathetic nor patient with us. Be prepared to try another Dr.

    As far as socialising goes, toxic people are everywhere so we need to keep trying with individuals rather than groups because people can be mean in groups.

    What I found, as I'm very sensitive, is that I've lacked effective defence against nastiness. So I developed my own ideas on how to protect not trusting so quickly.


    Beyondblue topic fortress of survival

    Beyondblue topic fortress of survival part 2

    I think becoming a hermit doesnt help our lives overall but there is a compromise


    Beyondblue topic want to be a hermit?

    I hope that helps.


  3. Swan.13
    Student Mentor
    • Masters of Psychology student on placement
    Swan.13 avatar
    65 posts
    7 August 2019 in reply to mrdjw

    Hi mrdjw - welcome to the forums

    Firstly, I just want to acknowledge that it must've been a massive let down to hear a doctor tell you to "just get over it". It's obviously not that easy. I'm sure many people using the forums have been given that 'advice' in the past and it's really disappointing.

    The title of your post really stood out to me... you've labelled yourself as a loser. Do you talk about yourself like this often? It’s hard to not fall into a pattern of being harsh on ourselves.

    It’s disappointing that someone who you thought was your friend made up stories about you – I can imagine that must’ve been really hurtful. I hope you have other people around you who lift you up instead.

    I’m sorry that you feel as though you’ve got nothing to look forward to at the moment. Before your anxiety and depression got worse, did you have things that you wanted to do?

  4. Soberlicious96
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Soberlicious96 avatar
    519 posts
    7 August 2019 in reply to mrdjw

    Dear mrdjw,

    I want to start by saying that anyone who makes up stories about you, is no 'friend' at all. If it were me, I'd refer to that person as an acquaintance ... but not a 'friend'. Even if it is in jest.

    I also want to say that I'm sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment and feel that you have nothing to look forward to. And as for that doctor, I would be seeking another doctor as soon as possible.

    Maybe you could try some counseling support? It's a much steeper road when we try to deal with these things on our own, rather than seeking help. But, if you look at it this way, you've already sought help from here at Beyond Blue, so that's a plus.

    In the meantime, we're here for you for as much and as long as you need. Take care. I'll be thinking of you. xo

  5. paddyanne
    paddyanne avatar
    127 posts
    8 August 2019 in reply to mrdjw
    Hi mrdjw. To be told to just get over it by a supposedly learned physician leaves me shaking my head. You've had to leave something that gave you pleasure because a person you considered a friend made up stories. Obviously jealousy prevails here. Is there another avenue for acting that you could pursue? I have always believed (rightly or wrongly) that acting is pretty much dog eat dog, competitive. How about joining night school drama. I know it wouldn't be as challenging as acting on stage, theatre but it might help restore your confidence. Also seek another physician for another opinion. You've had your confidence kicked out and the saying 'get back on the horse that threw you' might be another answer. The anxiety/depression will eventually fade but in the meantime, you need an outlet so you can regain your self confidence. Night school might help because the chances of meeting anyone who knows you is pretty scarce. If acting's your 'thing' drama classes might be another option. Maybe look at teaching drama, another option.

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