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Forums / Welcome and orientation / I think i'm depressed but when i confronted my parents about it, they shut me down and told me it was just a phase.

Topic: I think i'm depressed but when i confronted my parents about it, they shut me down and told me it was just a phase.

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. blakey04
    blakey04 avatar
    2 posts
    27 August 2019

    Hi,

    I'm 14 and i don't really know where else to express myself about this. I've been feeling really empty for a couple months now and hidden it away and not worried about it. I have no motivation to do things anymore, i don't feel like joining in on sports i usually love, i'm constantly tired and i don't feel like socialising with people anymore, i used to be a very outgoing person but now it feels like i need to stay in the dark and hide everything. I brought this up to my friends at school, but i heard something from my super close friend that people were saying that i was attention seeking so i stopped looking for help from them. I brought it up to my mum but she shut me down and told me it was just a phase and it's probably because i stay in my room looking at my phone. When the real reason i stay in my room on my phone is because i dont want to come out and be with everyone.

    Thank you if you read this, it means a lot.

  2. EmBiJ
    EmBiJ avatar
    1 posts
    27 August 2019 in reply to blakey04

    Hello Blakey04~

    I literally made this account a few moments ago-So please excuse my unprofessionalism. But your post was one of the first I read and I just want to say how proud I am of you for sharing this with us-you are so brave. I'm turning 21 this year and I wish I could have shared what was going on like you have, Mad props.

    We are here, and we will listen-no matter what's going on. Please know you are safe and welcomed here; The first step is speaking even if they don't listen straight away and you are doing that. Don't be afraid, make them see you, make them listen. You are important and they need to know that, Please don't let yourself feel otherwise.

    Wishing you all the best, stay strong. You are not alone!

  3. Swan.13
    Student Mentor
    • Masters of Psychology student on placement
    Swan.13 avatar
    65 posts
    28 August 2019 in reply to blakey04
    Hi Blakey,

    I just want to say that you did such an amazing job expressing yourself. It sounds like you’re really aware of your feelings and I’m sorry that you felt shut down by the people you opened up to. It takes a lot of courage to open up and you should be proud of yourself despite the reactions of others.

    It sounds like you’re not enjoying the things that you used to love doing, that must be really hard to adjust to.

    Do you mind me asking how you’ve been finding school lately?

    I’m really glad that you expressed yourself here and hope to hear back from you.
  4. blakey04
    blakey04 avatar
    2 posts
    28 August 2019 in reply to Swan.13

    Hi, Swan

    Thankyou it really does mean a lot. At school It's been hard focusing, my mind going elsewhere, my grades are getting pretty low and i have lot of self doubt that i can do it.

  5. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    2715 posts
    28 August 2019 in reply to blakey04

    Hi blakey04

    It's tough when you're trying to open up and tell people how you're feeling, especially when their responses are more about personal opinion and less about listening.

    The sort of questions we want to hear from those we seek support from are questions like

    • how long have you been feeling this way?
    • do you know why you feel the way you do?

    and stuff like that.

    There is one incredibly powerful question a lot of us struggle with no matter our age and that is 'Do you know who you are?' It's a weird one but it's one that definitely prompts us to begin thinking. It brings about a lot of self questioning, which is good as long as the answers are productive and not destructive.

    As a mum who has experienced depression in the earlier part of my life, I encourage my 14yo son and 16yo daughter to question themselves in positive ways in order to navigate their sense of identity. At 49, I still do this myself, so I don't ever become trapped again in a false depressing sense of self.

    It's also important to question other people at times, very important. Questions such as 'Mum, what if this so-called 'phase' leads to seriously challenging mental health issues that could have been avoided?' or 'Hey guys, if seeking attention means I need some help and advice then why wouldn't I seek it if I believe you can help me?' Turning it around in order to make others more conscious is important. There is nothing wrong with us being open, courageous and expressive (regarding our concerns an/or struggles). In my opinion, there is definitely something wrong when those who have the power to help choose to be dismissive.

    We're complex beings blakey! Whether lack of motivation, tiredness, disinterest and so on are due to our way of thinking or due to the way our internal chemistry is behaving, the interaction is something that definitely needs attention and consideration. These factors can definitely mess us around regarding our energy and perception. In my household, I'm actually addressing the many physical and mental challenges that come with chemical/hormonal changes. From the teenage years through to the mid-life ones (myself and my husband), I approach all aspects from a holistic perspective. We are mental, physical and energetic creatures who need guidance and attention.

    Try pushing the point with your mum. Let her know that your quality of life has changed and you need her to really listen and guide you. Using the words 'Don't let me down' might make all the difference :)

  6. Brenda5
    Brenda5 avatar
    2 posts
    4 September 2019 in reply to blakey04

    Coming in to maturity is an odd time. You aren't quite a kid anymore and not an adult. Your body is going through lots of changes. Get your mum to make an appointment to see your local doctor and ask for a blood test, just to make sure its not something simple like anemia or a vitamin deficiency.

    The next 3 years of school are vitally important and its not that easy to go back later on to night school classes. Make the most of it. If you are having difficulties with certain subjects, tell the teacher after class and see if there are any catch up sessions on offer.

    Those school friends in decades to come will be gone on with their own lives. You make more friends better suited to your interests as you go through life. Those friends you get to choose yourself.

    Make yourself get out of your room, even if its to sit in the sun and enjoy nature for a while. Vitamin D deficiency is pretty rampant nowadays. I was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago and in the cancer forum I am in, nearly every person had the same Vitamin D deficiency.

    When you have done the body check, sorted the education bear, tend to your interests. I joined a face book group for kayak fishing. I seldom get to do anything like that but I am interested in it and I love living vicariously through their fun videos and reports. Try doing a few searches and see if there is something there you like. My son is a movie buff. He is like an encyclopedia on plots, actors, directors. It's his thing but I can't even remember what movies I have seen sometimes and have to ask him about it. He is always right.

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