Thank you, yes Hubby is a great support I just feel like we have been having the same conversation, talking to others was my next step. It's hard in this environment the world is currently in to know if we can ever get back to normal, so I'm interested to hear other people's views. I have had a tough but rewarding past 5 years starting with Divorce, finding myself, putting myself first and then finding love, weddings and moving in again which I am grateful to find someone so loving, but after all these years of heartbreak and then hubby being diagnosed with some scary things, it was finally our turn. Hubby recently got the job of his dreams and is excelling, it so great to see him enjoying his work. I feel a little jealous I guess, this position I am in was never meant to be permanent, it was a stepping stone that has almost worked as a trap, I feel like it is a dead end, with no opportunity to use it to boost my career and very little help to move forward from any of the management team, I have a lot of skills but am being told to not use them. I think that this is blocking my pathways to pregnancy as well as it affects everything, I have no passion or hobbies and I feel work is sucking everything out of me its hard to stay positive which would be affecting my mental health making it harder to fall pregnant... the vicious cycle continues. The miscarriage really threw me, I wasn't prepared for that and I think that hasn't helped my mental health and the stuck feelings.