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Forums / Welcome and orientation / My Bipolar Partner cheated

Topic: My Bipolar Partner cheated

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Sheree333
    Sheree333 avatar
    2 posts
    21 September 2020
    Hi everyone, I'm new here and have joined because I found out yesterday that my partner cheated on me. Im unsure of where to post this. Do i put it under bipolar? Relationships? Caring for a loved one? Infidelity? Lgbtiq? I feel like every different community will have a different response to this topic. I guess Im just feeling lost and confused. We have been together 2 years and are very responsible our separate mental health conditions. We take our meds regularly and see our respective psychologists. My partners bipolar 2 is well managed, even though she is high energy and struggles to sleep sometimes, that is just her normal. Her medication seems to keep any massive highs or lows at bay. But then covid happened and she lost her job. And then lockdown happened. And she was stuck at home alone for almost 2 months alone, with only her thoughts for about 2 months while I went to work every day. This is the first time I have seen her have a depressive episode. I tried to be extra attentive and I knew she wasnt well. I tasked other people to check in on her while I was at work and even suggested she go to the dr and get her meds checked. Once she started getting work again she picked back up again and seems to be out of the funk now. Then last night she told me that she had cheated on me during that time period. I have no idea what to do now.
  2. Sheree333
    Sheree333 avatar
    2 posts
    21 September 2020 in reply to Sheree333

    She offered this info, i didnt catch her. She made no excuses, took full responsibility and had begged me to stay. She cant give me a reason and doesnt understand it herself. She is very ashamed and insists that I did nothing wrong and keeps asking me what she can do to make it better. She wants to spend the rest of her life making it up to me. She seems genuinely as devastated as I am. It was me who brought up the topic of her bipolar. I asked her if it could be a symptom of her illness. She said it might be but she didnt want to say it in case i thought she was making excuses for what she did. She seems as confused and shocked by her behaviour as I am. This is completely out of character for her. She has always been a loyal and dedicated partner. I guess im just struggling with my pain, hurt, anger and shock as well as hers. I feel like im walking a fine line between making excuses for her and making legitimate concessions because of her illness. I dont pretend to be a dr but i have done a lot of research on bipolar to help support her. I have read that people with this illness can suffer from hyposexuality or engage in promiscous behaviours when unwell. But the part i dont understand is if she was having a depressive episode isnt that the opposite of a manic episode where sufferers engage in this kind of behaviour? Could her illness cause her to be depressed and do this at the same time? Or am I just deluding myself?

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