Welcome to the forums.
I hope you gain some CLARITY about your H and your situation.
It seems you're confused.
Your H has betrayed you & lied to you repeatedly so your reaction is true to form.
The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour... so just saying "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me".
H didn't come to you immediately and confess... you said "I was suspicious that he visited a brothel before but couldn't get the confession until yesterday"
Sounds like alot of angst to drag a confession out of a person who's supposed to be committed by fidelity in marriage. Well done you!
Your instincts are firing and you should listen to them...
"I don't know whether I can trust him" - he's SHOWN by his ACTIONS that you can't trust him.
You thought you married a DIFFERENT man.
The one he pretended to be.
In situations like this there should be an annulment option IMHO.
Perhaps you thought you were marrying a man who could be faithful, honest and have a back bone to stand up to his friends?
Act like a grown up?
I would be extremely careful NOT to be dragged into the inevitable place he wants you!
That is to believe the bs... and enable him, which is already happening by you saying...
~ "because he was drunk with his friend"
~ "this specific friend loves visiting brothels" (ahem so does H clearly, he's been 4 x)
~ "He gets influenced easily."
~ "It is just the way he was raised by his parents."
~ "Some of his friends are really weird."
etc.. not your fault btw that you're enabling H and wanting to blame everyone else including his parents!
We only know what we know until we know differently.
H is not a donkey on a lead.
H has sweet words but the worst of actions.
Pay attention to ACTIONS.
Words are cheap in this area.
Perhaps your confusion is because you now KNOW & have been "smoke screened", had H do "rug sweeping", lying, "love bombing" etc etc... there are about 8 characteristics, manipulation tricks of a cheat.
But this was for your WHOLE relationship. (Your lie detector was a bit askew to begin with).
This treatment leaves the betrayed spouse confused at least.
I don't blame you ONE IOTA for not wanting to sleep with H!
Heavens I'd expect H to get a full screen STD / STI check regardless.
Sorry I don't believe for 1 nanosecond he visited 4x and got nothing.
Why would he keep returning to pay for nothing?
No need to answer that.