This is my first time posting, so please be gentle. I'm actually on here as my husband thought it might help me to know others who feel how I do.
I'm River (not legal name). I'm a 29-year-old Non-binary parent. I was born a girl, so I have always presented as a girl, but not felt quite like one entirely.
I'm on here because I have always struggled with identity, but could never put it into words. Yesterday: I did. For the first time I could vocalise my feelings of not being a woman, but not quite a man either. I accepted that I was Non-binary. I don't wish to lose my identity that I've made as a woman, but I am very much a "masculine" person on the inside.
My biggest issue is parenthood. I want to know if there are others who feel as I do, and how you cope. I hated my body during pregnancy. It felt "wrong" to be pregnant. But, I was over the moon to know I was going to be a parent. Breastfeeding was a struggle, but my daughter stopped latching after 6 months, to my relief. I now feel like I'm a great parent, but that I might be letting her down because I'm not a good "mother". So, I have fears that she will become distant. I don't want that at all.
How do you (if you are out there) cope with feeling like you aren't enough as a parent while struggling to adjust to your own identity?
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope there might be someone I can talk to.