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Forums / Welcome and orientation / New, and lonely

Topic: New, and lonely

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Leo Undercover
    Leo Undercover avatar
    1 posts
    11 June 2019

    Well writing this is harder than I thought....I guess I'll keep it simple. Almost 40 years old, suffered social anxiety, depression and anxiety my whole life. It has felt like one endless battle. I manage to function, just...I've lost the vast majority of friends over the years, am pretty much down to one. Little contact with family. A fragile relationship with someone as mentally unwell as me. So far I've been able to work, albeit getting more sporadic as I get older. Have recently started a new job in an environment that most people would be thrilled to be in, a close knit & sociable, outgoing group of people who pride themselves on being a supportive team, and I have almost come completely undone. Coffee breaks and lunches together every day, and I just clam up. How can "normal people" possibly understand that I can not even speak openly in groups of people I've known my whole life, that I can barely hold up a conversation with the family or friends I do see, that I am almost crippled by my own depression and suffering, let alone relax with a new group of people. It's getting harder to keep up the act that I've got it together so I continue to avoid people as much as I can and live an isolated existence. I grieve every single day for the person I could have been and the life I could have lived.

    So here I am...I know that all sounds like a huge poor me, attention seeking rant. I guess the idea of having some connection on here seemed comforting.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Lonelydan
    Lonelydan  avatar
    379 posts
    11 June 2019 in reply to Leo Undercover
    Hi Leo , Welcome to the forums. Well my username says it all I understand totally. I find friendships so hard. I’ve never developed relationship skills. I’ve found that it’s much easier to keep my feelings to myself in the work environment. I would just keep it general like renovations at home saving for a trip. The more I got to know them I could see people just like myself. They say everyone has a story and it’s true Some just don’t talk or be honest. If they ask just say I’ve got a lot going on right now I’m really concerned for my friend. People love being asked about themselves I’d all ways try to remember what was said so I could ask them questions next Time. I hope this was something for you depressed people like myself makes it so hard to reply and please come here and dump away. Dan ...

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