I don't really know what I'm doing at this point in time, I feel like I'm too young to be feeling this way or something along those lines. I look at everyone else's threads and see their realistic serious adult issues and i look at my own and wonder why I'm so heavily affected by my own.
Ive been extremely depressed for the last year or two, recently however circumstances around me have worsened around me and it becomes a struggle to feel happy at any given time.
If i was being honest my life was perfect in my eyes, i was always happy and couldn't be brought down, it had been 11 months since my previous suicide attempt and everything was so good.
however, just the past 2 weeks alone I've been broken down to a level i didn't think was truly possible. I feel more upset and distraught right now than i think i ever have. My friends have all cut me off, my girlfriend has dumped me, my pet dog (indigo) lost her eye to a stray cat while i was walking her, my grandfather has developed Parkinson's disease and is rapidly deteriorating and my nan has fallen and ended up in hospital with a brain bleed.
Im just so lost, everything that I've known my entire life has just come crashing down around me and i don't know what to do. Im confused, like how could any of this even happen, why me?
I keep thinking about my grandfather and how he will eventually forget about me, we used to go to the cinemas all the time together and always watch the latest films that would come out. It was like the thing we would do weekly and i loved it, he used to tell me how much he loved fishing and how he really wanted to take me. Now he has become too unwell to fish and so the one thing he has always wanted to do with me isn't even possible.
Im just here to let everything out cause i don't know what else to do.
Im sorry if this is just nonsense stuff and doesn't really make any sense i just have nobody to turn to and its been quite difficult.
Much love to everyone here - Jay