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Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Topic: Overwhelmed

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. BoneTired
    BoneTired avatar
    4 posts
    5 September 2020

    Hi everyone,

    I'm hoping that putting my thoughts down I may be able to understand what is going on with me.

    I have a good marriage, loving children and grandchildren and no money worries and my health is good (except for being overweight). AND YET I always feel sad and worried. Don't want to socialise, don't even want to get dressed most days. I am on medication which helps but not enough.

    I didn't have a particularly happy childhood and since losing both parents last year seem to be going downhill. I basically just want to hide.

    Corona is not helping as I can't see my interstate family.

    Don't want to go to my doctor, or exercise or eat well - just want to hide in the wardrobe.

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6846 posts
    5 September 2020 in reply to BoneTired
    Hey BoneTired, thanks for joining us and we hope you find it beneficial to express your thoughts here. We're sorry to hear you're experiencing these emotions, it must be very exhausting. Please know that you do not have to do this alone and that many in our community have had similar feelings and understand. Hopefully a few of them will pop by and offer you some words of kindness and advice.  If you feel up to it, we'd recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. Some resources you might find helpful include: You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348.

    We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it. 
     
  3. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14741 posts
    5 September 2020 in reply to BoneTired

    Bone tired

    welcome to the forum

    even though you have a good marriage, loving children and grandchildren, no money worries and good health, you still are worried and sad.

    have you ever spoken to a counsellor.

    what does your partner think about how you are feeling and your need to hide.?

    Does your partner want to be more active than you?

    i have days when I want to stay in my Pajamas all day but not every day.
    iI have had a hard year due to the fires and I find sometimesI have to find motivation to do things I like.
    Feel free to post as much as you like.

  4. BoneTired
    BoneTired avatar
    4 posts
    5 September 2020 in reply to Sophie_M

    Thank you for your kind words.

    I will definitely have a good read of the posts and hopefully find my way.

  5. BoneTired
    BoneTired avatar
    4 posts
    5 September 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    Thank you for your reply, yes I have spoken to a counsellor many years ago but really don't want to go down that path again.

    My husband is very understanding of the way I feel. He encourages me but never pushes. He offers suggestions to get me going but basically is happy with our quiet lifestyle.

    Ever when I try to do something new or different I lose interest.

  6. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14741 posts
    6 September 2020 in reply to BoneTired

    bonetired

    I know I dont like people making suggestions when I have tried so many things.

    The only thing I found was just writing down how I felt each day and see if there was a pattern.

    You have support . When you say lose interest, do you top doing it or does it seem pointless?

  7. BoneTired
    BoneTired avatar
    4 posts
    7 September 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi and thank you,

    recording my feelings daily sounds like a good plan and one that I will do.

    I stop doing things because they seem pointless. I also don't start doing things 'cause I'm pretty sure I won't finish. Pretty defeatist aren't I.

  8. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    2836 posts
    8 September 2020 in reply to BoneTired

    HI BoneTired

    I feel for you so much as you wonder what it is that makes you tick or not tick the way you wish to, in some cases.

    I find motive to be significant when it comes to motivation. The motive has to be great sometimes, especially when we're feeling a serious lack of energy. Energy is another major factor but I'll touch on that a little further along. With the motive aspect, if someone was to steal our credit card, no question about us being motivated to contact the bank and cancel the card. The motive: Not to have our account drained of our savings. If someone was to ask for our help, we may not give it a second thought, for the 1st thought - I have a strong desire to help this person - is what motivates us. Personally, if there's little to inspire me, you're not going to get me motivated. If the latest release on Netflix is more exciting than a boring walk I know I should be taking (for the sake of my wellbeing) or more exciting than cleaning the same bathroom every single week, I'll sit on the couch and binge on an entire season of that show in a couple of days. In this case, my motive is to experience excitement. Throw in some junk food and I'm really excited. Of course, there are consequences to this being a regular form of excitement.

    Changing perception, can change motivation in some cases. If that walk becomes a sensory experience (sight, sound, touch and smell), it can be an emotional experience, connecting us to life in a unique way. If cleaning your bathroom is done with attention to detail through the senses, it can also be an emotional experience (strangely enough). So, all of a sudden we can be living through our senses, in the moment, stopping to smell a flower we've never taken the time to smell before or listening to the sound of the scrubbing brush rhythmically swirl on the shower floor.

    The energy factor is definitely a biggy. If we don't have the energy to move it, no motive will get us out of our chair. Restorative good quality sleep and good hydration are natural energy boosters. Hydration impacts/energises our cells significantly. Also, if you're usually a 'high viber' longing for excitement and your partner is a 'low viber' who's happy to just chill and watch tv, this may be a challenge. For a partner to say 'Okay, c'mon, we're going on an adventurous quest in search of excitement', this may be enough to begin feeling our body's energy in motion. Having a 'go to' person in our life to help us 'vibe up' is important.

    :)

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