I am a young elderly lady feeling so very lonely. People have tried to be friends but I hide away, and they give up. Moved to a new state recently with a wonderful husband who works. I suffer from depression and anxiety, which seems well enough medicated for. I don't have any hobbies or particular skills. Have had much in the way of challenges in my life. Overweight and don't look good in anything I wear now, so I keep myself at home. Thinking people are looking at me and sometimes laughing. Have had a few cancers etc. Have had some suitable employments, requiring some reasonable intellect. Now, nothing but me.

Hello Capho.

I am saddened to hear your story and the situation you are in. I understand it can be hard going through this but lets look at the positives here, you had a few medical episodes and you have past them. Your hubby is still employed so there is financial stability there. You are also fortunate to have a place you call home, and the best thing is you are still ALIVE! Life is a gift, and every day a blessing so start your day by being grateful for what you have in life today and engage yourself in anything that interests you to make it pass time., whether it is, watching Netflix, gardening, cooking, cleaning, reading book, chatting on line, etc.. when we connect with hobby or people, we are switching our brain into 'recreation mode' thus it helps us when we go back to our usual life trends. There is a good reason why people are encourage to go for at least half hour walks, exercise, as exercise promotes endorphin in us, so unless you are incapable to do this, you owe it to yourself to get out and feel the heat of the sun on your face and appreciate the weather, flowers, your health you currently have, you have a lot to be proud of in life. I have worked with Aboriginal communities out in the Aussie bush and if you see their situation, you will definitely feel much better about yourself. Remember, there are many in this world in worst situations than you and as long a you are alive, do something you have interest on, even engaging in community events, etc will help you to meet like-minded people. Maybe good idea to rekindle the spark in your family relationship as well, but if that's a no-go then contact old friends as well. We all leave a mark on this earth and all noble people who are known today was through their voice, and action. I hope some of this information will influence you to reconsider your current trend and how you can help yourself first. God said love your neighbour as yourself so you have to love yourself and take care of yourself to be happy and healthy in life. It also takes two to tango so relationship is always a two way street, you also have to make the effort but in life, everything requires effort! People who have lost hope on their self have demoted in health and eventually their life as well. Be thankful and take each day as it comes and please take up that old hobby you had when you were young. It will transcend your mind into feeling that age again!

Hello Capho and welcome to the forums.

Feeling lonely and isolated is something you'll find many of us on these forums will relate to. I'm thankful that you decided to give reaching out here a go. It isn't easy especially if you are anxious and keep thinking people are critical of you.

One thing I've learnt in my time here is that this is quite a unique space where we get to write to other people who also understand how anxiety can make us constantly doubt our own value or worth or start thinking others are judging us.

I often turn to two older threads here when I'm feeling very alone but self doubt is holding me back from trying to reach out to others in some way. Maybe these will interest you, your input would be very welcome too if you want to write more.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/taking-things-the-wrong-way-(on-the-forums-and-in-life)

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/talking-to-your-inner-critic-can-it-be-tamed-/page/18

It can be very difficult to move and start making connections all over again. Especially if you aren't working which at least forces you to mix with colleagues.

If you want to talk more we would love to hear your story. There is no rush to find solutions or hobbies, if you just feel like company these forms are always available and the social zone especially has lots of threads which are lighthearted conversations.

Hope you feel like returning.

Nat

Capho,

I too welcome you to the forums .

It can be hard making your first post so thanks for sharing your story which I know others reading this will relate to.

I like your description of being a young elderly lady and think this means you feel young.

Being self conscious is such an awful feeling which can control your life.

I can see you say you have no particuar skills but I would differ because you wrote well and express yourself clearly.Also you have overcome challenges so you are determined and strong.

Sometimes I was so self conscious that I would not go swimming even though I liked it

I think writing here is a first step and it may take time .

Thanks again for sharing your story.

Quirky