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Topic: Stoic Ted

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. BertieWooster
    BertieWooster avatar
    1 posts
    12 April 2020
    Well, I’ve been writing intermittently about my own misery in journals, blogs and diaries for the last thirty-odd years and it just seemed I wasn’t getting the answers I needed, so here I am. Profile: depression and anxiety, dysthymia, baldness and a nagging need to write. Fifty-four years on this ball of dirt and about forty of them carrying the genetic burden of mental illness. Somehow it feels just a little exciting to know that someone else might read this.
    Like you, I have a long history of events, episodes and pain that have darkened my life. I go through stages, like now, of trying to write through, write about, write out of depression and once the worst is over I lose the urge. When I’m out of a depressive episode I don’t want to re-visit it because, funnily enough, it makes me depressed thinking about it. But, deeper than that, I really do want to explore how depression, especially, has shaped and framed my life.
    Right now, I reckon I’ve just climbed back up the cliff that I metaphorically threw myself off six months ago. My mood has stabilised, I can look beyond my own interior landscape and take a step or two in any direction I like. Time to give something back, me.
    It’s a grey day outside, Ted (an old soft toy) is in the window but no one is going past our house to see him. Poor old thing. Our daughter loved him for years, only stopped sleeping with him when she was fifteen and realised that she was too old for that. He’s slumped somewhat to the left as if deep in thought. But he is relaxed, stoic, knowing that he will get through the lockdown. One day at a time.

  2. David Nobody
    David Nobody avatar
    117 posts
    13 April 2020 in reply to BertieWooster

    Hi Bertie,

    Our stories are very similar...
    Mental issues starting from long ago (Incl Autism).
    Fifty + years of playing in dirt.
    Writing to escape the drudgery and to remember.
    (increased depression translates to increased creativity)

    I wrote/published three books, and even though very few have read them, it was a huge relief to get “my story” out there. I still go back and read them every now and again, and always find something I have forgotten.

    Most of it is sad tear tragic, but there are a few happy tear memories included.

    My youngest daughter has a Teddy Exactly like your daughter’s.

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