I like your avatar picture.
I am so sorry to hear you are in a big bottomless pit and feeling frustrated you can't out.
Does writing here help at all? I used to feel I was in a prison and couldn't get out , so I tried to write down how I felt and sometimes I could barely hold a pencil or I would write the few words over and over and over again.
If a helpful hand outstretched will help I am here.
Is there anything in your survival kit that will help you.
Just resting is helpful as you may need time out to recharge.
You have reached out here and that can be hard to do when you feel so low.