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Forums / Young people / Emotional detachment?

Topic: Emotional detachment?

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. JovaK
    JovaK avatar
    2 posts
    8 August 2020


    so I'm not sure what to call it but for majority of my life I have struggled to feel love. I know instinctively that my family and friends love me. but I don't feel anything. When I think about the words and their meaning I feel empty like I'm missing something. This ultimately causes me to feel quite different when I hear about my friends talking about people they are attracted too or how much they love their family. I believe this is what caused me to feel disconnected and distant from the world, I dont feel like I belong, if I stay with a group of people for too long I begin to feel emotional pain. throughout my life I have especially struggled with knowing the value of myself as a person, I dont feel I have any self worth. thus I naturally hate myself. every time someone acknowledges me, every time I receive complements or even when the people closest to me say they care for me, I can't help but feel as though they only say so out of pity. like its their obligation to say so. every time I just hate myself more and feel ever so more disconnected from people.

    its hard to open up to my family because I've tried 3 times now and each time they claim they understand and yet they still treat me the same, they belittle my issues whilst complaining about how hard their life is. it makes me angry because having my value ignored hurts even more than accepting my own irrelevance.

    is it possible to have emotional numbness for a specific emotion? or do I have something else entirely? do I even have a problem? am I just making something out of nothing?

    thanks for listening

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6126 posts
    8 August 2020 in reply to JovaK

    Hey JovaK,

    Welcome to the forums, we are so glad that you've taken a big step in sharing your thoughts and feelings here with our wonderful community. We're so sorry to hear what you're going through, and that you've been struggling with self-worth and feeling disconnected. Please know that you are not alone in feeling this way. This is a safe and non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.  

    If you feel it may be helpful, you are also always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under, and are available 24/7 on 1800 55 1800 or you can get in touch through Webchat at

    We hope that you keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. We're all here for you.

  3. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    5880 posts
    8 August 2020 in reply to JovaK

    Hi and welcome.

    You are not making something out of nothing.

    Gray is my fav. color. Why am I telling you this? At one time I was talking colors with my psychiatrist as I had an image in my head I could not get rid of. So I then looked at meaning of other colors. With many things there are positives and negatives. Two associations with gray are "emotionless" and "moody".

    At key times in my life at times when I should be happy or excited, I was not or perhaps no feeling. These were just events in my life. At least that is how it feels. It was and is easy for me to find the negative in a situation.

    I would like to be able to notice the beauty in a flower.

    I also suck when it comes times accepting compliments. I cannot accept that I can do a good job. Part of this came from events when I was a lot younger when I was told that what I did was never good enough. I am supposedly working through this at the moment.

    We are also shaped by our experiences and upbringing.

    The only advice I can give you is related to accepting compliments... when you receive it, just say thank you and put a full stop behind it. I would add a 'but'. You are worthy of the compliment you have received.

    There may be also be positives in being emotionless. What we think of ourselves can be different to how others see us as well. Life is different to what is shown on the TV screen.

    That all of this can make you hate yourself (and 'hate' to me is a strong word) you could perhaps have a chat with the kids helpline as suggested above. They will listen and help you find a way forward.


  4. JovaK
    JovaK avatar
    2 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to smallwolf
    thanks Tim I appreciate the support

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