Hi
I often feel great for a few days then feel down for some periods. Recently I have been feeling more down. I feel less energy to do things and socialise. These are just the things that have been happening recently to cause me to feel like this

- Started university this year and online university has made it really hard to meet people
- My manager hasn’t replied to my message about my availability but she has seen the message. I think I’m fired at this point as many managers just ghost casuals when they don’t want them anymore. It’s not the money that gets me worried but fact she didn’t say why, so I’m just thinking about all my insecurities
- Every time I get angry at someone or complain, I go back and think about how I do the same things and I am probably getting angry because I see my weaknesses in them
- I know I’m not trying hard enough to study, but I just procrastinate
- Bad sleep schedule, I fall asleep anytime around 11pm-5am and wake up around 10am-1pm


I know these things can be easily solved by just moving on and not thinking too much. But it just makes me feel so insecure about myself. As in, what did I do to get fired. But then I get more angry at myself for knowing that this is easy to get over with and not just moving on. I feel pathetic. It’s also a sense of guilt.

Another example is when I get easily worked up with my younger brother. I yell at him, shut the door and then think about how childish I am. I scared it will effect him on the long run since he is still pretty young. I feel like it already has. He is the youngest of three kids and has really low self esteem.

I have been trying improve my mental health by
- Using a timetable to plan my days
- Checklist so I am not overwhelmed with tasks
- Forcing myself to go out and play sports once a week
- Spending time on my hobbies
but these methods (excluding sports) only last a few week at the most then I lose track which makes me feel even worse.

I’ve also tried talking to people around me but with my friends I always feel like I am going to be judged for making a big deal out of nothing and some of them aren’t in a good place either. And my family, I don’t want them to worry too much.

Can someone give some advice on what to do? I have thought about consulting a professional, but I’m not sure if I need to and I don’t have GP that I can ask.

Dear TVN~

I regret that after reaching out here on the Forum, and setting out a pretty honest account of your circumstances you have not had a second reply. I am glad you did meet Sophie_M, who gives good advice.

The reason it has taken so long is nothing to do with you personally, or the subject of your post, it is just that our system does not always work as we would like.

The final thing you said was you do not have a GP to go to and I'm wondering why as that is one important place to start. Feeling the way your do, anxious over your supervisor -who sounds a pain - plus the difficulties at uni, study and sleep. Add to that your uncomfortable reflections on the things you do.

All these seem to me to be much the same sort of things I've felt, and I have an ongoing anxiety condition plus bouts of depression. I too tried to 'make' myself better, but nothing worked until I got competent medical care.

Do you think it might be possible to see a GP despite what you said before? It might start with a uni councilor and go from there.

A lot of people do not want to worry their parents, however that's not always a good idea. I'm a parent, and the other parent I know are all the same as me. We really would want to know how our young person actually is, and then be able to take action to make things better. It's simply love. Do you think one of your parents might be easier to talk with?

Maybe you might also like to explain to your younger brother it is not him, it is you having difficulties - would he be old enough for you to do that? Many younger people think it is their fault when it is not (something I think you do yourself.)

Would you like to come back and talk some more? The answer would be a lot quicker next time:)

Croix