Upon leaving college I had a career plan that was then taken away when the courses of interest were no longer offered in my state. This and a desire for independence pushed me into customer service/ hospitality to work. I moved out with my partner of the time but then we were not compatible and I moved back home. A lot happened, I worked, purchased a car, dabbled in finding a relationship, spent a lot of time with my friends and decided to return to study something else at university. I found a partner and overall we have a healthy and thriving relationship.
The course I progressed into I either had to study online or drive for 3 hours to the campus it was offered on. I did a bit of both initially. Now with Covid I can only study online. I began to resent my job more and more, the fast paced customer service, the rude customers, working weekends, early mornings, changing rosters, not spending time with those in 9-5 jobs and simply I am bored and need to move on. I began applying for work else where, however ideally I would like part time work and this is a rarity, I am under qualified, I have had multiple rejections and now with Covid there just aren't the jobs out there. I moved into a share house with my partner and I have found it difficult to adjust, whilst it is generally a good household, it has increased social anxiety and I find it difficult not having a space to call my own. I can't afford rent alone though. I joined a mat pilates class but with Covid the times changed and I could no longer attend, I can't afford or can't attend other places and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to even just force myself to go for a walk. I increasingly feel like a strain on my partner, I feel like I ask for alot of his time, I am insecure and whilst he is successfully working full time, I am not. He is generally very supportive but obviously he can't fix my problems for me. A close family member also became unwell this year and this has been difficult to process, particularly with the world at the moment. At my age I long for holidays, friends, to buy a house and have a baby, sadly none of these are an option to me at the moment. I feel so stuck.