i start my second year of uni at the end of feb and I am terrified. Last year during the semester my depression got really bad. It would take me 5-6 hours to fall asleep at night, up to an hour to eat a piece of toast, 4-6 hours to get ready to go out. I didn’t shower for weeks, ate terribley, didn’t brush my teeth etc etc... I woke up each day in utter misery, wanting to sleep everytime I opened my eyes. I honestly do not think it could have got more severe, I nearly got hospitalised.
i tried everything I possibly could to improve my mood. Increasing pleasurable activities, exercising, doing things for others, changing my diet, meditation, breathing exercises, journaling, art etc etc. i filled out dozens of worksheets, read books, downloaded all the apps, used all the e-therapies. None of it has made any changes to my mood, even after implementing these techniques for the better part of a year.
i visited my local GP a few times, he prescribed a medication that did not work for me. I went back after a month because I was at a crisis point, he upped my dosage and told me to ‘take a walk in the sunshine’. Didn’t work.
i visited my university counselling service 4 times, but I could only get an appointment once a month. I deteriorated so much during this time I was essentially told to leave because I was so bad and I needed more treatment than they could provide.
i visited a university gp, but he didn’t really have any suggestions apart from taking a different medication. I would like to note that any physical cause of my depression has been ruled out through multiple blood tests.
I struggled to find a good match for a local psychologist so I am now using the betterhelp app. I like my counsellor however as it is with online chat, progress is very slow and she hasn’t really made any new suggestions.
i live in a beautiful house with a loving family, and I have little to no obligations or outside stresses, so that’s not the problem.
please, I need some help. I’m not an idiot, if I don’t change SOMETHING, I’ll go back to the stress of uni and become a human slug again, or worse if you catch what I’m saying.
Unfortunately I can’t do my degree online or part-time so that isn’t an option. Thanks