People see me as a happy joyful person, but I just want to live like everyone else... I feel like I can’t be myself anymore, it’s as if my parents are holding me back from being who I really am. I stay in my room for alone time and all I get out of it is a lecture about how unproductive I am and how “there’s nothing I should be sad about” I miss how I lived before. Now everything is so hard to the point where I just cry for no reason :/

Hey DinoNugget, welcome to the Beyond Blue forums. Thank you for having the strength to share your thoughts with us as we know this can be quite difficult to do. 

It sounds like things are tense at home and we're sorry to hear about the unsupportive comments made by your parents. We can imagine being told you're unproductive and don't have a reason to be sad would've been very hurtful to hear. Would you feel comfortable sharing your situation with a friend or sibling? they might be able to provide some much-needed comfort and assurance. 

If not, we would recommend that you get in touch with Kids Helpline. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 by young people 25 and under via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided. A counselor can talk through your situation with you and provide some useful advice and coping strategies. 

We'd also recommend that your read through our "the facts" webpage to learn more about the symptoms of anxiety and depression and whether you can relate to any of these experiences.  If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best help support you.

Dear DinoNugget~

I'd like to join Sophie_M in welcming you here. She gives good advice.

Crying is never for no reason, and while you may not be exactly sure of why you cry I guess there is one thing you can be sure of. Life can be so much better, to feel happy and appreciated is the normal state of affairs for most people. Unfortunately your parents, even with the best of intentions, are saying exactly the things that will trigger you.

Having "nothing to cry about" is just plain silly, you do cry, there has to be a reason. The fact your parents can't imagine it seemly means lack of experience on their part - and therefore no understanding. It is NOT a reflection on you.

You did say "I feel like I can’t be myself anymore, it’s as if my parents are holding me back from being who I really am". Do you think you could say more about who you want to be, who yourself is now"? It can help us understand the problems you face.

Life can be hard and not surprisingly you retreat, into your room. Many people do this, a reaction that while it does give some peace for a while does not help in the long term - it leaves you on your own with nothing or nobody to make matters better. It also has the unfortunate effect of being seen as 'unproductive', again a judgment you do not deserve.

I can understand others as seeing you as happy and joyful, in my own case it was a mask I put on, it stopped awkward questions and let me be with people in the ordinary way. Again in the long term an isolating and unhelpful response.

I would very much go along wiht Sophie's suggestions, first do you have a sibling or freind you can talk things over with frankly , someone who just listens and cares. Trying to face all this on your own is horrible.

Secondly getting some advice would be exactly right, and phone or web-chat to the Kids Helpline can get you started. They are used to these situations and make suggestions that can work. You can talk to them more than once without having to explain it all over again

I'd really like it if you came back and talked more

Croix

Hi DinoNugget,

It sounds like you are really feeling the impacts of what is a normal phase for people of your age. If you can put it into words and explain your thoughts to your parents, they may see you for who you are and be able to process what’s going on with you.
Do your friends know how you’re feeling? I think you may be surprised that they’re feeling just like you.
Just try to reassure yourself that what you are feeling is normal and there are people to talk to.
K