ay. same neurodivergence.
i feel like losing the ties to a community that had impacts on you even if its as “inconsequential” as like, memeing about dogs or a discord server where you talk about a video game would hurt badly. any place where you’ve felt at home or like you drop the act will have that effect on you even if it was your mentally ill memes facebook group.
(social media does that a Lot where they ban accounts for any nebulous violation - i thought fb was lax as hell on removing people and content but ive used it like nine times so i may be wrong. anyway i miss the days where a vindictive moderator would write a whole manifesto and a half on why you were hammered, dont talk to me or my son ever again, rather than twitter terminating accounts for saying kill with a vague “uwu u viowated owr tewms of sewvice uwu”)
im struggling to talk to nt people outside of my weird speech style too. i’ve gotten into trouble or just weird looks from my ambling voice or bringing up oddball topics. its the way i find most comfortable talking and changing it hurts
im combined type n also unmedicated as anything so working off all my energy so i can like, sleep, focus, make good decisions (99% of my bad choices come from being too uncontrollably hyperactive i swear) is p serious for me. i can like, get it off from exercising but this is more from the pov of i don't enjoy exercising too much but being physical means i can’t easily get all excited to do laps around my hallway again. cleaning helps me too but i overexert myself a lot so
you talk about being too scared to tell your psych your meds dont work - like if you’re scared youll hurt his feelings or something? your psych is a person youre paying to look after you and make sure you function well, if he’s not doing it well you are allowed to point it out to him or raise objections.
also re: your self conscience and fear of criticism? reminds me of something commonly experienced by adhders called rejection sensitive dysphoria; https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/ it's a pervasive thing so its hard to talk about how to get over a fear of rejection and honestly trying to push through that myself i still havent found an answer. sleeping a lot is a mood whenever i hit episodes it can be 7pm and i’ll feel like i need to sleep for a week to feel right again.
sounds shallow but i hope you’re doing well dead but dreaming. we’re all autistic adhds trying to figure out the world together yknow