Hey Cherry13,
I agree with Aphador, you should be super proud of yourself for coming here and expressing yourself in such a deep way. I tried it for the first time only a few months ago and it has helped me so much. I hope the same thing for you :)
Firstly, I wanted to say that I have been in your position before girl! For me (and maybe you're the same) I find such happiness and fulfilment from caring for and helping the people I love. It makes me feel so warm and joyful inside. However, what I have learnt over the past years is how important it is to give to the RIGHT people and the people that really deserve your love and support. Many times I have gotten to the point where the people I love have taken, taken, taken until I had nothing left for myself.
And let me tell you, you are important. You're mental health, caring for yourself, nourishing your body, going after your individual dreams is (arguably) the most important things.
Never lose your kindness, compassion and empathetic nature. It is so PRECIOUS and the world needs more of it. But I would question, are you using those amazing talents toward the right people? Are you putting energy into relationships that really serve you? What benefits do you get out of your relationships?
Also, (as Aphador said) never stop expressing how you feel to the people in your life. So much empowerment and relief comes from that, and being able to express your feelings is a talent in itself.
For me, as an outsider, it seems like your boyfriend knows he needs to work on himself, like a lot. The question is, can he truly and authentically do that within your relationship? Do you want to stick around and support him as he attempts to do that work?
From all that I've learnt, the most fulfilling relationships in my life are those that are (and I'm totally not saying that yours isn't) 1) reciprocal 2) positive 3)supportive. You (and everyone) deserves stable relationships.
Some final thoughts haha:
How can you best help your boyfriend? What do you think is best for him (even if it is painful in the moment)? And (most importantly) what is best for YOU? Have you considered taking a break and reassessing after time has passed?
For me, if/when certain relationships don't work out, someone brilliant is always waiting just around the corner, and when I least expect it (those are the ones I really treasure)
Hope this helps.
Hugs