I'm having a surprising amount of trouble with tertiary education. The TAFE I go to only has full-time study for my chosen course, meaning even though I am passionate about what i'm studying, I might not be able to finish it. Additionally, the campus doesn't offer a certificate IV, so I'm stuck studying a diploma, the difficulty of which I am only just finding out. My brain just isn't suited for academia and it feels disappointing I'm not at that level yet. It's cliche but I feel lost now that I'm transitioning into a full-blown adult.

Thanks for reading.

Dear Soulstorm~

I read your posts from last year when you were struggling with both year 12 and also your mum. Well you managed, and that says a lot about you. The fact you can see waht is happening now and want to do something about it says more.

From the sounds of it your local TAFE does not meet your needs -it's that simple. If you require a part time Cert IV to do OK then trying for a full time Diploma is asking for trouble.

So what are you choices? Struggle on with the current course, true you like the subject matter, but it's possible you are setting yourself yurself up for failure -plus far too much stress -what do you think?

You could see if another institution has the exact course you want, many do Cert IV courses mainly on-line.

You could see if your local TAFE has any part time Cert IV courses even in subject you are only marginally interested in (provided they have job prospects) and go that way. Many people end up in employment not related to their studies, it is simply the fact they had hte determination to pass that does the trick, not what in.

Have you talked to a TAFE counselor as yet? They can sometime be very helpful.

Croix

Hi Croix,

Thanks for responding. What you said about determination is true. Honestly, I'm worried that no matter what I choose I won't have enough determination to pull through, as I was never one to give anything 100%. I feel as though I'll have to work for a few years until I can change the way I act. I did speak to a TAFE counselor - she's actually the one who made me realise I have to change my pattern of study. I told her about how I have to lie to everyone and say I'm doing fine (something I don't want to continue anymore) and how it was just like year 11 and 12 all over again. I'm scared to tell Mum I don't wanna go if I don't find a different course. There's also the issue that every class is already well under way.

What do you think?

Dear Soulstorm~

OK, you asked so I'll tell you. I think that trying to force yourself to do a level of study that does not fit well with you, and being so unhappy with your performance that you need to gloss it over with your mum is basically bad for you - and your mum - and will leave you feeling as if you have failed and let everyone down.

She may well feel the same way too, with guilt she could not see how unhappy her own daughter really was and how hard it has been for you all the way though.

So maybe that counselor has done everyone a favor by bringing the matter to a head.

It is not your fault if your study skills are average, average means the same as most others. It is not your fault the TAFE does not have the right course, it is just life, which as you know is not always smooth. I was not determined at school and coasted along. Determination is something one grows into.

A few of questions, if you do not mind.

• Supposing you found the right Cert IV on-line or elswhere would you realistically want to push though with it?
• Supposing you did not then would trying for a job for a while be OK with you? (Job hunting can be hard)
• Do you think it might be a good idea to let your mum know all this trouble and heart-ache you have been having?
• Any ideas how she would react once she got over being told?
• If you did want to tell her any ideas of the best way to do so?

Sorry for all the questions, but I'd expect you have asked them to yourself already.

I hope we talk abut this some more, particularly how you feel

I'm a parent and would blame myself, feel very sorry for my daughter in these circumstances and try to help her do whatever would make her happy and fulfilled long-term.

Croix