OK, you asked so I'll tell you. I think that trying to force yourself to do a level of study that does not fit well with you, and being so unhappy with your performance that you need to gloss it over with your mum is basically bad for you - and your mum - and will leave you feeling as if you have failed and let everyone down.
She may well feel the same way too, with guilt she could not see how unhappy her own daughter really was and how hard it has been for you all the way though.
So maybe that counselor has done everyone a favor by bringing the matter to a head.
It is not your fault if your study skills are average, average means the same as most others. It is not your fault the TAFE does not have the right course, it is just life, which as you know is not always smooth. I was not determined at school and coasted along. Determination is something one grows into.
A few of questions, if you do not mind.
- Supposing you found the right Cert IV on-line or elswhere would you realistically want to push though with it?
- Supposing you did not then would trying for a job for a while be OK with you? (Job hunting can be hard)
- Do you think it might be a good idea to let your mum know all this trouble and heart-ache you have been having?
- Any ideas how she would react once she got over being told?
- If you did want to tell her any ideas of the best way to do so?
Sorry for all the questions, but I'd expect you have asked them to yourself already.
I hope we talk abut this some more, particularly how you feel
I'm a parent and would blame myself, feel very sorry for my daughter in these circumstances and try to help her do whatever would make her happy and fulfilled long-term.