I was hoping that some more guys would respond to you so I hope they do.
Your responses to girls/women sound very normal to me and I'd probably be much more concerned if you weren't having these feelings!
We all have thoughts and feelings that can be unsettling and even quite dark, angry, violent and icky. Welcome to being human!
Just because we have these thoughts and feelings doesn't make us bad and it doesn't mean we are going to act on them.
You can say someone makes you so mad you want to kill them but that doesn't mean you actually intend to do it!
Have a laugh at yourself sometimes when you get these feelings and remember you're a normal human being!
It's very normal to feel attracted to women. Welcome to being a guy!
So no, you're definitely not a bad person for having these feelings, you're just a normal human being and I think you're being a bit hard on yourself!
Hope this is some help. 😊