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Forums / Young people / Relationship PTSD?

Topic: Relationship PTSD?

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Lyssaa
    Lyssaa avatar
    5 posts
    14 March 2021

    Hi everyone,

    For some reason lately I've been thinking a lot about my relationship which I had three years ago, when I was only fourteen. It lasted four months, and this is what happened.

    I was in a relationship with a guy, and for the first month it was great. We had a shared friend, a girl- let's call her Girl A. After Girl A split from her boyfriend, Girl A and my boyfriend became very close, they called each other besties and things like that. They spent a lot of time together, and people often used to tell me that they were flirting with each other, which I tried to ignore.

    Not many of my friends liked my boyfriend, in fact a lot of them really didn't like him. Girl A and my boyfriend would start saying "I love you" to each other, as a "joke" apparently. I snapped at him once because I couldn't cope with the stress, and somehow I ended up being the one apologising. On one of our dates, he facetimed Girl A, saying it was alright because we were both friends with her. Another time, he made a "joke" about how red my acne got when I was angry.

    As this constant stress of the two of them being close together grew and grew, when he didn't text me back one weekend, I got stressed and started crying to my friends about it. He found out. For the rest of the week he ignored me and told me to "figure out" while I was mad. When he broke up with me eventually, girl A would sometimes make comments to me about how everyone thought they were together now and how close they were, and would still tell him stuff about me and bring him up around me.

    I later tried to cut her off because she wasn't really my friend, and then her and him spent time shit talking me.

    The fact that I'm still thinking about all of this three years later makes me feel weak and like I'm being crazy. But part of me also thinks that maybe this was more traumatic than I realised. What do you think- am I maybe suffering some kind of trauma from this, or have I just been crazy all along?

  2. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    12997 posts
    18 March 2021 in reply to Lyssaa

    Welcome to the forum, Lyssaa and thanks starting this thread and bring so honest.

    You are not crazy. At 14 you were very trusting and vulnerable .

    Sometimes times makes things better but if you have not talked about things or worked through what happened it can still cause you to be upset.

    The 2 people you were closest to, let you down and caused you emotional pain.

    Would you consider talking to a counsellor?

    I am not a trained medical person . I know when I was 18 I was in love with someone who pretended to have feelings for me but then became engaged to someone else after telling me he would see more of me in the coming year. This was many decades ago.
    Matters of the heart can be so distressing .
    Thinking about what happened 3 years ago is common and is helpful and long as it does not make you be stuck in the past.

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