Thanks for reaching out today; I can hear that this stress has been really interfering with your life and it makes sense why you'd be looking for an explanation for this. It sounds like that since you had that panic attack, the impacts of that has really stuck with you and trying to deal with the memories and feelings of that must be really difficult.
I'm going to open this up for our lovely community to chime in, as I'm sure that there are other people who are able to relate to how you feel and to share their experiences with you, but I also just want to say that as a forum, the main thing that we can offer is peer support and we can't offer anything like medical advice.
The reason that I say is this is because it seems like the types of answers you're looking for in terms of what might be going would probably best be answered by a doctor or a mental health professional, especially because you mentioned it might be related to a medical symptom or condition (panic attacks). You could consider speaking to your GP about this, otherwise you can always have a chat with one of our friendly counsellors at our Support Service at 1300 22 4636 or webchat (you can find out more information about that here
). If you're under 25, Kids Helpline
can also be really helpful because they run a 24/7 helpline at 1800 55 1800 and a webchat service, too.
But please know the forums are always a safe and nonjudgmental space for you to talk about what's going on, SamCo, and that we will always do whatever we can to support you.