I don't know how much longer I can handle going to school. I don't absorb any information in class, I always hand in my assessments late (if i hand them in at all) and I have no idea how to connect to other people in my year. I'm terrified about my future if I'm already failing this early on, even thinking about it makes me feel like throwing up. Honestly, living to find out sounds terrifying.

I've always wanted to be an artist so I went to an art school but that has literally ruined art for me, I feel disgusted whenever I look at my art but I cant not do art because my whole life that's been the only thing I care about and if I don't have that then my life isn't worth living.

I'm so tired all the time so I never end up doing classwork, I don't even know why I'm still here, I feel like I'm wasting my parents money but I just cant bring myself to care. I just want everything to stop.

i think the only reason I haven't acted on my negitive thoughts, I'm too scared to. I cant bring myself to actually tell anyone because I don't want to be a burden. I have friends I could maybe talk to but I'm not at all close to any of them and I feel opening up about this would just push them away even more. I have no idea what to do and I'm absolutely terrified.

Dear Snufkin,
 
Firstly, welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members.
 
We can hear from your post that you have been struggling with these feelings of being overwhelmed and stressed about your schooling for an extended period, we hope you acknowledge the effort and strength you have displayed persevering and seeking assistance.
 
The negative thoughts you are currently experiencing must be very distressing and we want to take the time to say that it is fantastic, that instead of acting on these feelings you have reached out. Being alone with these feelings and urges can feel overwhelming and that there in ‘no light at the end of the tunnel’ but talking to others and sharing your experiences can really help.
 
We want to encourage you to seek the support of others around you and not think of it as “being a burden”. Your friends you mentioned and your family care about you and would want to be there for you in your time of need, as I’m sure you have been there for them in the past.
 
If you feel it is too hard to talk to a friend or family member, we will highly recommend discussing your feelings with your family G.P as they are an excellent point of first contact to receive advice and assistance on accessing local services. Also, if your school does have a counsellor this would be a great professional to engage with and discuss your current feelings. We have also provided the links for some counselling services below and recommend engaging with any you feel comfortable with.
 
As mentioned, it can really help having someone to talk to when these negative thoughts arise, we recommend contacting the Beyond Blue counselling team. By engaging via phone or chat the counsellors can provide advice and support, please contact either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support
 
If you have not engaged with them before we would also recommend Kids helpline on 1800 55 1800 or at https://kidshelpline.com.au/ . This service is available to anyone 25 years old and under.
 
We would also like to suggest Lifeline on 13 11 14 or at https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/
 
Alternatively we would also recommend the suicide call back service, they offer a range of contact methods that can be accessed via https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/phone-and-online-counselling/ or by giving them a call on 1300 659 467.
 
If at any point those thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, or you no longer feel safe we urge you to contact emergency services on 000.
 
We hope that you find the support and direction that you are seeking on the forums. Once again, we are so glad you have joined the forums and we hope that you feel welcomed into the community.  
 
Warm regards
Sophie M

Hi Snufkin,

Wellcome to our forums.

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

Sophie M has given you some great advice.

I understand how it feels to not to be able to absorb information I also struggled with this through out my life, I didn’t realise at the time why I couldn’t absorb information until later in life.

I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and looking back on my life I can see I also had this at school but I didn’t know what it was.

When I was going through the severe anxiety I also felt very tired and I had alot of negative thoughts.

I learned that the reason for these horrible negative think was because I had severe anxiety which was fueling these thoughts……. It wasn’t my fault.

I seeked professional help for what I was going through starting from my gp…… in time I recovered and the horrible negative thoughts lifted.

What you are going through is temporary and it will pass once you receive the help you need.

Please make an appointment with your gp and discuss how you are feeling… you could even show your gp this conversation if you want to.

Please also consider talking to your parents about the way you are feeling I’m sure they would want to help you.

We are here as a community to support you, please reach out to us anytime.