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Forums / Anxiety / anyone with anxiety who works within a life and death profession i.e nursing, paramedic, anaesthetist etc ...

Topic: anyone with anxiety who works within a life and death profession i.e nursing, paramedic, anaesthetist etc ...

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. littlepenguin
    littlepenguin avatar
    13 posts
    2 September 2021

    Hello

    I am a veterinary nurse working in a specilist hospital. I have been diagnosed with generalised anxiety. I have previously worked in a small GP setting for the last 12 years. So I do have 12 years experience as a nurse however never in such a big beast of a specialist hospital. In my previous roles I have really enjoyed monitoring anaesthsia during suregry - this is one of the trcikiest parts of a veterinary nursing role , the life of that animal is in your hands, you need to be noticing small trends and changes and act on them quickly, if you fail to act or do not notice something small things can go down hill very quickly.
    I have always had a vet in the room whilst I am monitoring anaesthesia. They are performing the procedure or suregry andnot concentrating on the anaestheisa but they are there if I need them/ to ask a question/ advice.
    I now have a vet who is on the floor in another room or a few rooms away and If I need them I need to call them on the phone to get advice or assistance. I am moniting patients under General anaestheisa for CT scans..... My anxiety is through the roof with this...something I could usually do no worries, has now made me feel very anxious ...
    I am constanly thinking that If i need the vet they wont be available, wont answer my call, or my patient will die or something bad will happen and it wil be on my watch... I think this could be becuase I am using new equipment and my patients are higher risk being cancer patients, I am used to young healthy dogs and cats a lot of the time. I have a lot of knowledge with anaetshisa and completed a lot of post grad study to help with the anxiety around it. I think I have major conficne issues and I am in a spiral of negative/ catastrophic thinking.

    How do you do it to the medical professionals out there who have anxiety... how to push past the what ifs and worst case scenarios, the imposter syndrome as well, I feel like these thoughts are paralysing me at the moment and I am now avoiding do the CTs and making someone else do them .... which I know is not the solution. I am not on any medication and I have just started seeing a psychologist to help with my thought patterns through some CBT work.

    I feel like I feel dread every time I see there is a CT on the schedule... this is part of my day every day so i realyl need to get on top of oit before it completely consumes me.

    3 people found this helpful
  2. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1358 posts
    2 September 2021 in reply to littlepenguin

    Hi littlepenguin,

    Sorry you are feeling this way….

    Thats great you are seeing a psychologist ……..

    I understand anxiety I had severe anxiety OCD the anxiety that accompanied this disorder was very intense……. My disorder came with a lot of what if’s…..

    One thing I learned with anxiety was the more we try to avoid what our anxiety is telling us the more reinforced it becomes…

    Has your phycologist taught you how to challenge your thoughts?

    I have written two threads you may be interested in..

    From someone who recovered from OCD

    Effective treatment for OCD

    have you ever tried meditation? It teaches you that you aren’t your thoughts but the watcher of your thoughts…..

    here to chat

    2 people found this helpful
  3. littlepenguin
    littlepenguin avatar
    13 posts
    1 October 2021 in reply to Petal22

    Hi Petal22

    Thank you so much for your reply.

    We have not got to that part yet about challenging my thoughts. I am not sure if I am clicking with this therapist... we have had 3 sessions so far, he is still establishing background information and developing a plan for me. I have another therapist recommended to me who I might book in for as from what my friend sys i may find it easier to work with her. I love the sound of challenging my thoughts.

    I will go read your threads now.

    I have tried meditation , but probably haven't given it a good go.

    I have heard that before through teaching so mediation - that you don't get attached to those thoughts that come up you just need to observe them and let them go by.

    I learnt awhile ago from another therapist I was seeing about 5 years ago that feelings and thoughts are not fact... this really resonated with me and I use it in times of struggle.

    I feel I have major imposter syndrome occurring. That I cannot do this job and all the nurses around me are so much better than I am. although I have had some wins this week which did boost my confidence. The issue is I am a big 'what if' and 'worst case scenario' person and in my work.. the worst case is a patient dies.... I am dealing with sick patients under anaesthesia so there definitely is a risk there... not sure if it is just too high risk for my anxiety to handle but don't want to sell myself short/ miss out on a great opportunity to work in this specialised field. ..... trying to take it day by day... have those pre work horrors and find it hard to switch off on weekends, dreading the week ahead.

  4. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1358 posts
    2 October 2021 in reply to littlepenguin

    Hi littlepenguin,

    I found thought challenging to be useful, eg……… what if my patient dies while I’m monitoring them……?

    What are the thoughts for this??

    What are the thoughts against?

    Im a great nurse and will recognise when my patient is in distress and I’ll call the vet.
    The vet will be available in an emergency

    Please feed your mind with positive self talk….

    When I did my therapy I learned that nothing in life is 100 percent certain……. I was someone who always looked for certainty now I’ve learned to just sit with uncertainty and be ok with it…

    I highly recommend you practice meditation every day it will teach you to be the watcher of your thoughts and you won’t get so caught up in them…… look for a guided meditation for learning to watch your thoughts….

    You are still learning in your new job and in time you will gain a lot more self confidence….. I like that you are still challenging yourself because that’s were we get the most personal growth from 😊

    1 person found this helpful

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