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Forums / Anxiety / I just got diagnosed with OCD

Topic: I just got diagnosed with OCD

20 posts, 0 answered
  1. DaffodilDarling
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    6 posts
    8 October 2021

    Hi everyone,

    I'm always a little nervous to post in these forums and haven't done so often so please bear with me. This week I received confirmation of what I had been suspecting for a few months-- I have OCD, 'Pure O' to be exact. I was expecting to feel relieved once I got this diagnosis, because I thought that once I knew what was going on, I could start working towards feeling better. But instead I felt the opposite? It kind of felt like this huge weight on my shoulders, like a big heavy label on my forehead that meant things would never be the same again, and I'd always be carrying the weight of my OCD with me. Did anyone else feel this way at first? I have great support from my family, but I'm struggling to explain it all to my partner. How do you tell someone about the awful, horrible, intrusive thoughts in your head without them looking at you differently? These thoughts go so against who I am and what I stand for as a person, that it's just so hard and embarrassing and terrible to explain.

    Any advice or words of wisdom would be so appreciated!

    Daffodil x

  2. Summer Rose
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    8 October 2021 in reply to DaffodilDarling

    Hi DaffodilDarling

    Welcome to the bb forum and congratulations on having the courage to share your story. You’ve done really well to seek help and obtain a diagnosis, I know it’s not easy.

    My daughter was diagnosed with OCD when she was 13 and I remember feeling very much like you. I thought that things would never be the same. It was devastating…sitting in the psychiatrist’s office, listening to him speak and just wishing that he would stop talking. My daughter felt the same.

    It took time for this feeling to pass. And it lessened as my daughter worked toward better health and her condition improved. The evidence was irrefutable: recovery is possible.

    Please know that there are effective treatments for OCD and it is possible for people to learn to manage their illness. Persevere until you find what works for you.

    OCD is a hard illness to talk about because most people just don’t know anything about it. Or they think it’s some cute and quirky condition.

    I’ve found when it is properly explained many people are shocked at how devastating it can be and very empathetic.

    The key thing to remember is that you are not OCD. Thoughts come and go and they they are just that, thoughts. They can’t hurt you and they don’t define you.

    Your partner knows the “real” you. You know the “real” you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. People fall ill, but they also get better.

    Kind thoughts to you

  3. geoff
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    9 October 2021 in reply to DaffodilDarling

    Hello DaffodilDarling, and a very warm welcome to the site.

    It is impossible to try and explain what OCD or pure O is if that person doesn't have it, they can't imagine why we do these compulsions/obsessions and in your case those thoughts, which also happen to those with OCD and can understand the logic nor the reason why we struggle with them, and so often criticise us for having thoughts that they believe are impossible and certainly couldn't happen, but that's what this illness and how it controls us.

    I've had this for 60 odd years and have learnt to hide everything I do, only because back in my early days all people would do is laugh at me and make comments which can't be printed, I wonder whether this happens.

    If you could type 'intrusive thoughts' in the search bar at the top of this page or in your search browser and read the many comments people have made.

    If you visit a psychologist try and get one who specialises in OCD, then the appropriate techniques will be provided, and please get back to us.

    Geoff.

  4. Petal22
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    9 October 2021 in reply to DaffodilDarling

    Hi DaffodilDarling,

    Well done for getting a diagnosis I understand completely how it feels to be sitting in your psychiatrists room knowing something isn’t right with yourself and the feelings of severe anxiety running through your body and all of the what if thoughts and the intrusive thoughts that totally go against everything you are …..after your psychiatrist witnessing your behaviour they say to you….. You have OCD …… Obsessive Compulsive Disorder….. I understand completely because this is what happened to me………. I was diagnosed with OCD…… I remember when I was told I had this disorder I said to my psychiatrist well “ I don’t want it” my psychiatrist replied “ You have it”……..

    It took me a few visits with my psychiatrist to accept that I did have this disorder…….. once I accepted it I was able to work on over coming it!

    AND I have …….. 4 years on from diagnosis I’m now recovered and I’m living my BEST life ever and so can you…….

    I did an 8 week group therapy this therapy was called Metacognitive Therapy….. it was an intervention into the OCD…… this is we’re I learned to master my OCD! I’m now free of the vicious cycle of OCD……… if you can find this therapy in your area please think about doing it….…. It really can change your life….. it took perseverance and practice to master the skills I was taught but now I’m flying…..

    I also at first found it difficult to open up to my partner about my intrusive thoughts but my partner knew the real me and never once thought I’d do my intrusive thoughts…. That’s what they were just thoughts…… please try to talk to your partner so they can understand……

    Ive written two threads please have a read:

    From someone who had OCD and recovered

    Effective treatment for OCD Metacognitive Therapy

    Ask me any thing

  5. Petal22
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    9 October 2021 in reply to DaffodilDarling

    Please have a read of my threads…. 😊

    From someone who suffered OCD and recovered

    Treatment for OCD Metacognitive Therapy

  6. DaffodilDarling
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    6 posts
    11 October 2021 in reply to Summer Rose
    Thank you so much! This was so helpful. I talked to my partner about it last night and though he shared many of the views about OCD that lots of people do at the moment, once I explained to him what OCD truly is he was very open to listening to me and understanding me. I didn’t go into detail about my intrusive thoughts but spoke generally about them and what lots of people experience, and I’m quite happy not to delve into those details with anyone by my psychologist as, like you said, they are just thoughts and don’t mean anything about me as a person. Thank you again for your wonderful advice 😊
  7. DaffodilDarling
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    6 posts
    11 October 2021 in reply to Petal22
    Thank you very much! It’s wonderful to hear that you have recovered and gives me so much hope for the future. I will definitely be reading your threads x
    1 person found this helpful
  8. Summer Rose
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    11 October 2021 in reply to DaffodilDarling

    Hi DaffodilDarling

    I am so happy that I was able to support you in a meaningful way. You've made my day by letting me know this!

    I am hoping that along with your professional diagnosis that you also received an appropriate treatment plan. There are different ways to treat OCD and the path you embark on should reflect your unique circumstances. Not all people are the same, not all OCD experiences are the same and so not all treatment plans are the same.

    My daughter was fortunate enough to reach what we call "recovery". The recovery word is tricky because it means different things to different people. When I use this word here, I'm referring to a state where she can manage her symptoms.

    As you move on to start to deal with your illness please feel free to post anytime if you have any questions or concerns or you just want to vent. We will all be here for you.

    Kind thoughts to you

  9. Petal22
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    11 October 2021 in reply to DaffodilDarling

    Hi DaffodilDarling,

    Im so happy I have given you HOPE please hold onto it even in your hard days……. When I went through my therapy I learned OCD works on a sliding scale some days will be better than others….. eventually the good days will out weigh the bad ones……

    I also just wanted to let you know that when I did my group therapy I didn’t have to disclose my intrusive thoughts to the group it was a intervention into the OCD… I was given so many tools and learned how to disengage from the vicious cycle of OCD…

    Please know I’m here and chat to me anytime x I understand

  10. quirkywords
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    11 October 2021 in reply to DaffodilDarling

    Daffodil darling.thanks for your honesty for starting this thread.

    Many people will read your post but will not comment so you will help them not feel alone.

    Many thanks to Summer rose, Geoff ,and Petal for your informative and helpful posts.

    I have learnt a lot from all of you and l think by understanding more about how people

    experience OCD it has give me some insight.

    Thank you all

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Summer Rose
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    11 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    Ah, Quirky. You are so kind! Thanks
  12. Petal22
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    11 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️
  13. Andre_P
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    89 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to DaffodilDarling

    Hello. Just thought I’d say hi. To be honest, and this is only my opinion. Ocd at the extreme end has to be the most debilitating mental illness on the planet, hence forth what I deal with. Moderate ocd is fine to deal with. Don’t let it get out of hand. Treat it early, cbt or metacognitive therapy (which I’m just starting to learn) and if you must then meds (which ain’t for me).

    it’s got to be the most cruel illness. Ocd can lead to insomnia, can lead to panic, can lead to mania, can lead to almost psychotic delusional paranoia (poor insight) and can actually lead to bouts of rapid depression with suicidal ideation.

    I can’t stress it enough, look after your self. Kerb your rituals. I let mine get out of hand but I’m slowly pushing them back against the fence.

    I’ve heard metacognitive therapy is really good for the phantom fears in our mind. Cbt erp may be good for more reasonable fears. Anyway I hope that helps.

    Take care - also how you going Geoff. I understand your condition, it ain’t a fun condition to say the least.

    anyway take care everyone 😊

  14. Andre_P
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    89 posts
    17 October 2021

    I ordered a book online about metacognitive therapy. It works different than the ERP as it retains the way you perceive thoughts more so than exposure therapy to current fears.

    adrian something I think his name is. Just google metacognitive therapy reading ay :))

  15. Andre_P
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    89 posts
    17 October 2021
    Retrains** the way you
  16. geoff
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    17 October 2021 in reply to Andre_P

    Hello Andre_P, thanks so much for asking and I would have to agree that this illness is a debilitating mental illness and those who don't have it can not understand the reason why we are forced to do these obsessions/compulsions and for them to say 'just stop doing it' has no foundation at all, it's not something we can just stop and if people try to, it only increases the intensity to do it.

    If a person has received help then they need all the strength in themselves to try to relieve these symptoms but this depends on their level of anxiety, I'm not a doctor to make these comments, but I once asked my psychologist if they had seen a 'habit' I just did and they didn't only because I hide them from everybody.

    Take care Andre_P.

    Geoff.

  17. Summer Rose
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    17 October 2021 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff and others reading

    I really appreciate your honesty in saying OCD is a debilitating illness. I’m sorry that you’re struggling with it and hiding behaviours over a 60 year journey. You must be exhausted. Hugs to you.

    My daughter is in the same boat. Been 10 years of constant effort to push it all the way out and then keep it out. But OCD is sneaky and when Covid arrived it found the cracks in her armour. It’s exhausting and chronic right now.

    DaffodilDarling, the words and stories that Geoff, Andre and I share need to put in the context that everyone’s experience is different. People respond differently to different treatments. People have different levels of illness. People reach different levels of recovery.

    None of us are doctors. We don’t know the best treatment for you but your doctors will. I can tell you that common treatments include Exposure Response and Prevention, CBT and Acceptance Commitment Therapy. Beyond Blue has helpful information on its website about engaging in treatment. And all of us can share tips and advice to help you on your journey.

    As someone just starting to deal with this illness, I want you to know that there is hope for better days ahead.

    Kind thoughts to you

  18. DaffodilDarling
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    6 posts
    30 October 2021

    Hi everyone!

    Just thought I'd check back in here and give you guys an update. Firstly though, I'd like to thank you all for sharing your stories and kindness with me, it truly has made a difference and made me feel less alone. Fortunately, I have a wonderful psychologist who, after some gentle goading, encouraged me to share some of my intrusive thoughts with both himself and my mum, and helped me find ways to combat them. I have to say that after I shared these thoughts, they got much smaller. No one thought I was a horrific person. No one judged me or blamed me or made me feel anything other than listened to and validated. And I shared some of the most awful themes of my thoughts, too. I feel very, very lucky to have been met with such understanding, and very thankful to have shared these thoughts after suffering alone for so long. I truly hope that others who have OCD can also be met with the same care.

    And more good news! I seem to have found a medication that (so far) works well for me to combat my anxiety (I have dealt with anxiety for over a decade, and only just this year decided to try medication!). I have been on a new medication for about a month and I already feel a difference. With this medication and continued therapy, I am very optimistic about my recovery. Of course there will be bumps in the road as always, and there have been many already, but it's only been a few short weeks since I first posted on this forum and I already feel considerably better. Thank you all so much again for your time, I really appreciate it!

    Love, Daffodil

     

    1 person found this helpful
  19. Petal22
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    30 October 2021 in reply to DaffodilDarling

    Hi DaffodilDarling,

    Thats ok I’m glad that our support has helped you.

    Thats fantastic news that you have found a way forward with your OCD… well done ..

    You are very courageous and strong to have shared your intrusive thoughts with your psychologist and mum….. I’m so glad that you are being taught how to challenge these intrusive thoughts….

    In my recovery with OCD I shared my intrusive thoughts with the professionals who helped me… and the ones close to me..it really does take strength to do this…..

    I know that you are going to be strong enough to find your way through OCD just as I have done…

    I also know how it feels to be struggling for so long with these intrusive thoughts alone…… it’s a very hard place to be in… scary

    Is your psychologist aware of the vicious cycle that OCD is? If you ever need me to elaborate please tell me and I will.

    Im so glad that you have found a medication that works for you.

    Yes you will have bumps in the road but that’s ok OCD works on a sliding scale you will have good days and bad days but eventually the good days will out weigh the bad ones.

    Thank you so much for letting us know how you are progressing im so glad you are feeling considerably better than the previous time you posted.

    Please keep us updated and let me know if I can be more of assistance to you.

  20. Summer Rose
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    31 October 2021 in reply to DaffodilDarling

    Hi Daffodil

    Thank you so very much for sharing your update.

    Wow! Where to start? I’m so happy that you have made so much amazing progress and are off to a great start.

    From my experience, the combination of medication and therapy is really strong. It sounds like you are on a good path for you. But remember, “two steps forward, one step back” is okay and often to be expected with OCD. You do you at your own pace.

    I was so pleased to read that you have let your mum in to support you. When my daughter was in hospital with OCD I asked a nurse if she would ever get better and this beautiful woman said, “if you get the family stuff right, yes.”

    My girl and I hung on to that and never let go. Believe me when I say, take all the family support you can get—it works.

    Love, medication and therapy are all great things to have in your OCD management toolkit. This may sound corny, but I’m really proud of you.

    Kind thoughts to you

    1 person found this helpful

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